I f(29) recently got engaged to my partner of 6 years and I have been thinking of who will stand by my side at the alter since the relationship became serious. I have been friends with a m(30) since we were teens and I made a promise as we grew older that they would be my MOH or a bridesmaid. We practically raised each other and they attended the same schools all the way through college. We have been friends on and off throughout those years as a result of their trauma related anger, control, and self identity issues. They are also the source of many of my insecurities that I work through often with my fiancé. As an adult they have went to therapy, apologized, cried when I shared stories of how they treated me, and repressed some of their actions. Apart of me forgives them but another part of me still hates the negative impact they had on me growing up. When we hang out they still make me laugh harder than most people, they’ve known me longer than anyone, I can say certain things without explanation, and they give great general advice. But, they also tend to make moments about themselves. I’m also one of their only friends according to them. They’ve said that they just want a part in the wedding now that I have new friendships but still ask about their place. I’ve considered having them help with the run of show and maybe be apart of the bridesmaid festivities without the title to not feel left out? (I was a bridesmaid of a mutual friend and they were sad they didn’t get invited to the activities). I’ve had growing anxiety about this for years now and although it seems like a no brainer, I don’t know what to do.
Edit: Removed some details in case they see it. Thanks for the responses so far. I decided to let them sit in the front with family and help with my Pinterest board.