It was my friends (honestly would say more of an acquaintance) birthday recently and they invited my friend to karaoke night. She added me as a +1 and we let them know that we were gonna be stopping by for a bit, not staying the full time since we were already gonna be around the area for bar hopping. We went for about 10 minutes, said hi and sat for a bit, and left. We didn’t queue a song, pay for drinks, or anything. They messaged us the next day saying karaoke was $36 each…am I the asshole for not paying?? I feel like its principle to not have us be charged the same as people who stayed for the full 2 hour session…I’m really not sure how to relay that message in a nice way lol
Paying $36 for a 10-minute cameo where you didn’t even sing is actually insane 😭.
If they wanted everyone to split it evenly, that should’ve been said upfront, not billed after like a surprise subscription fee.
You’re not the asshole, but this is exactly how acquaintances stay acquaintances.
NTA, they have a cheek asking for it and I wouldn’t be paying
$36 for a 10-minute “hi and bye” with zero singing is actually wild
If it was a split cost situation, that needed to be communicated before, not invoiced after like a surprise bill.
You’re not the asshole, but now you know why this person stays in the “acquaintance” category.
If they didn’t tell you ahead of time that there was a fee to attend and give you the option to opt out, they can’t come back after and ask for money. Just tell them that’s a hard no from you and move on.
NTA, ask for an itemized receipt
“Hey there! I hope you had a great birthday 🙂 You were pretty flat chat with all the celebrations so you probably didn’t realise that me and X only stayed for 10 minutes and didn’t get any drinks so we didn’t really get $36 out of the party so we won’t be paying” – my attempt at nicely wording it.
NTA
If they invited, they should pay unless they told you otherwise up front.
I wouldn’t pay that bill, god the arrogance of some people 😆
NTA
You didn’t order, use or pay for any service, paid your respects, and ten minutes later, you jump.
How anyone thinks that means you have to pay up $36 is anyone’s guess. That’s nutz.
ESH
I feel like you guys should’ve just outright declined rather than making an “appearance”. It’s honestly more rude to offer them a pittance of 10 minuets of your time for their birthday while you’re having your own bar hopping night.
If they’d communicated before hand this would be a split cost event, it doesn’t matter how long you spent there.
However, they’re also the AH for what seems like doing a pump fake of inviting you to an event with lacking information to take advantage of a sense of obligation to pay for it.
I don’t really think there’s a nice way to communicate you won’t be paying.
yeah, i agree. i come from cities with asian style karaoke and thats pp head. kinda sounds like a private room idk
NTA. You were there for 10 minutes and didn’t use anything — charging you the same as people who stayed the whole time makes no sense
Personally if I was expecting to spend time with any of them again in future, Id pay the money so that the friend group doesnt end up divided. Although going forward, id be checking costs with her any time she organised something before agreeing.
But also staying 10 minutes just doesnt seem like it had the effect you wanted it to have. I feel like its quite rude if you dont have a professional obligation or a family event you cant change, going bar hopping just doesnt hit that mark for me. Not to mention, if you didnt bring a gift then that comes across worse so paying for the room could be a way to manage that.
I personally wouldnt consider you an asshole for not paying, unless you didn’t get her a gift or your leaving was noticeable with a small group.