I’m 21 and still new to living life outside of college. Last month I asked my housemate if he could send me the utility bills statements before I pay him over Venmo. I got the idea from my grandma who said I should have receipts for everything I buy, so I wanted to give that a try.
So I get the Venmo for the bill and there is no statement, and I think "maybe he just forgot". This seems like a reasonable excuse since I did ask him over a month ago. So I DM him "Please send receipts for the bills so I can pay you 👍" and I get no response. I think that’s weird so the next day I message him the same thing, and I get no response. Yesterday I tried calling him on Messenger, Discord, and over the phone and got no response.
Am I the asshole for refusing to pay bills when I don’t see the bill statement? Or is asking to see the bill statement something that I should have been doing from the beginning and now it’s coming back to bite me.
Side note: I did ask him for the bill statements back in September and he seemed "angry" about it but let me have them. Does asking to see statements make people upset? When I sent him the Internet statement I didn’t feel upset, is that normal? He hasn’t responded to me for 2 weeks now, and this is the second or third time he left without a word.
NTA. Just wondering though why you don’t just go and talk to him if you’re living in the same house?
Have you considered going over to the couch and just speaking to him?
NTA for asking to see the bills. That’s totally normal and reasonable. Being transparent keeps things fair, and your roommate should be willing to show you receipts, just like you did for the internet. If anything, it’s a red flag if someone refuses to show proof or gets mad about it
NTA. Asking to see the actual bills before you send money is normal adulting, not a federal investigation. If he’s legit, it should take him 30 seconds to send screenshots. The fact that he’s dodging you and going radio silent is a much bigger red flag than you wanting receipts. Don’t pay a cent until you see the statements.
NTA. You are responsible for paying half of the bill, so you need to have copies of those bills that you pay for.
Ask your roommate if they are getting e-bills, if so, forward copies to you. If the bills are mailed, ask to see it so you can take a photo of it. Ask them when you’re with them so they can’t brush you off.
If they’re still being shady or acting defensive, you could say that you are applying for a savings/investment/credit card or something like that, and that you need to gather all the financial documents for your living expenses.
Set a date: Say that you need a copy of the most recent bill by Nov. 30th if it’s a set monthly amount, or, that you need copies of bills from Sept to Nov (or whatever date range) if it’s a variable amount each month. Ask if they see any issues with getting you that info by the end of the month, and if they can’t do so, let them know that you are happy to track down copies of the bills from the service providers on your own with their permission ~ say this as you’re calling the service provider.
NTA. It’s not that you are not paying, you just want to confirm what you are paying for and why is your housemate getting defensive over that?
NTA. You have every right to see the statement. If your portion is, say, $50 for your share of November’s electric bill, pay the $50 to your roommate. Then, literally text your roommate “I paid you $50 for my share of November’s electric bill. If there’s any problems, text me and let me know”. A lack of response would be all the receipt you need. And make sure you save all those text messages
All of this.
Not only are you right for wanting to see the charges you’re paying for, but keep the receipts of the conversations and cash transfers too. Paper trail is your friend!
NTA
Nta, it’s perfectly reasonable to want to have a receipt for bills. Have you tried actual face-to-face communication with your housemate?
My concern with his behavior is that he’s not actually paying the bills, and is trying to conceal it.
NTA. It is unwise to blindly trust anyone.
Obviously he’s over charging you or why else would he not share copies of the actual bills ? Don’t pay him a penny until you see the bill from now on.
NTA. It’s pretty common practice to send the bill which is being paid by multiple people to the other people paying it. As a matter of fact, I’d be pretty annoyed if I had to ask for it every time. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to confirm the amount and have your own copy of the receipt.
I’ve had several roomates in the past and often I’ve been the one managing the bills and have lived with others that managed the bills. Whenever a bill came I would just send them the bill or they would send it to me – you get the digitally now, it’s literally the easiest thing to do.