So the situation starts at a pizza place. Long story short, there was communcation issues and nobody actually wanted to eat at the pizza place because it was expensive but peple already ordered appetizers and drinks so we were basically locked in to eating there. I offer to pay for bill as long as they pay me back before the trip. We all agree to keep it simple and get 4 large pizzas for us to share. After we are finished I remind them when I would like them to pay me back by and it seems we have an understanding so we all go back home on good terms.
Fast forward a few weeks later we are talking about who is getting our portion of money to help fund our trip. Before this point of have reminded them 3 times some of them have not repayed me yet. They see the message and chose not to respond making me think they are trying to avoid the payment. During the talk of who is getting the money to fund the trip I let them know right then and there im not giving anybody my portion until their debt to me is repayed. Once again, they kind of brush it off.
Fast forward a couple day we are finally at the final day to send our portion of the money and I still havent sent my portion yet. I let them know it because 3 people still have not repayed their debt and remind them i was not paying until they repayed me. This is when they started to say I was being weird for worrying so much about it right now and started to mock me. Not just the 3 that still owed me but everyone going on the trip was saying im in the wrong for not paying until the last 3 payed their debt. Eventually, the last 3 people sent the money and I sent my portion of the funding for the trip.
So does me wanting to make sure their debt was payed off before sending my funding for the trip make me the asshole?
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Yeah I gave up immediatly
> So the situation starts at a pizza place. Long story short, there was communcation issues and nobody actually wanted to eat at the pizza place because it was expensive but peple already ordered appetizers and drinks so we were basically locked in to eating there. I offer to pay for bill as long as they pay me back before the trip. We all agree to keep it simple and get 4 large pizzas for us to share. After we are finished I remind them when I would like them to pay me back by and it seems we have an understanding so we all go back home on good terms.
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> Fast forward a few weeks later we are talking about who is getting our portion of money to help fund our trip. Before this point of have reminded them 3 times some of them have not repayed me yet. They see the message and chose not to respond making me think they are trying to avoid the payment. During the talk of who is getting the money to fund the trip I let them know right then and there im not giving anybody my portion until their debt to me is repayed. Once again, they kind of brush it off
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> Fast forward a couple day we are finally at the final day to send our portion of the money and I still havent sent my portion yet. I let them know it because 3 people still have not repayed their debt and remind them i was not paying until they repayed me. This is when they started to say I was being weird for worrying so much about it right now and started to mock me. Not just the 3 that still owed me but everyone going on the trip was saying im in the wrong for not paying until the last 3 payed their debt. Eventually, the last 3 people sent the money and I sent my portion of the funding for the trip.
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>So does me wanting to make sure their debt was payed off before sending my funding for the trip make me the asshole?
NTA You set the expectation at the time of the loan and held the group accountable. If anyone objected to those terms, they should have said so that night.
You covered dinner up front they ignored three reminders
NTA.
It clearly worked since the final three paid you.
Why would you get financially invested into a new agreement with people who hadn’t honored repaying according to the deadlines of the previous agreement? Why would you be part of a group where you can see people take on new financial commitments by paying someone else without settling up the old ones with you?
ESH. Why would you order food you didn’t want? Why not just pay for the appetizers and drinks and go somewhere else? I assume everyone knew the prices of the food before ordering. Why did you feel the need to pay for everything? You suck for withholding your trip payment until the last minute and they all suck for not sending you your payment for the pizza and also for mocking your reaction to not getting your money.
If it was me I would make sure to always have cash when going out with them so I could pay my portion and I wouldn’t be picking up any tabs.
Let us know how the friendships work out. You may be iced out.
NTA. You communicated it clearly, they decided not to take it seriously, and they’re now going surprised pikachu face. Those three who owed you would still need to pay someone for the trip, and if they could contribute their share to that then clearly they have the means to settle their debt with you first.
NTA for refusing any further financial connection with people who did not repay you (or at least some of them didn’t repay you).
It might have made your point clearer if, instead of saying “I’ll pay you when all of you have repaid me”, you’d said “I won’t be going to the trip or contributing to it since I haven’t been paid back the money I loaned at the pizza place”. I don’t insist on that wording, but to me it makes it a bit clearer that it’s mainly you, and not those of the group who repaid their debt, who is being inconvenienced by the lack of repayment.
NTA. They owed you money. You could have also said “hey, 3 people owe good money still. I’ve been trying to get that paid but they have just ignored it. So I’ll just see my portion minus what they owe, and they can include the food money with the trip money.” No one else cared because it wasn’t their money and it wasn’t impacting them. Now that you decreased your contribution now they care.
Absolutely NTA. People like this will say anything to not have to pay you back. Now you know these particular people are like that and you hold their feet to the fire. Don’t ever let them get away with it again.
girl i would have done the exact same thing. if they can’t pay you back for pizza they ordered, why would you trust them with trip money?
NTA. The A’s were the ones who owed you money AND the ones who joined in on the mocking. Nothing worse than someone owing you money. I understand if they say, “can I pay you on payday?”, then you can reply, “sure I’ll send you a reminder with the amount on payday”. This is a ONE strike incidence, I think you learned a lesson on covering for a group. Bring cash next time and let someone else pick up the tab for the group. I wish you luck with the friendships going forward.