For context; my older sister (mid forties) has no understanding of either time or money. She demonstrates her tardiness constantly & has admitted her shortcomings when it comes to money. She also has chronic pain & has been in and out of hospital, coming up on 6 times in 6 months. She also never. Stops. Talking.
The story; She broke her leg & went to the local satellite hospital for urgent care. They made an appointment for surgery the following week, put her in a moon-boot, told her strictly no weight bearing & to continue her own pain management for the existing medical issues.
No sleep that night due to pain despite medication so the next morning she rang around nearby hospitals to ask how much they charge to walk in the door & landed on the best deal…..90mins away. This hospital is near where I live.
Her neighbour, took her to the hospital and back again but I’m guessing that was just about an entire day because it’s at least 3hrs on the road plus waiting time and consult time at the emergency department. She was given Oxycodone and sent home with the same moon boot and crutches etc.
She has surgery the following week and asks me to take her home on my lunch break because I WFH and I can just "zip her down" during my break (which is 1 hr long and it’s a 3hr round trip). I say no. She convinces our cousin to take her home instead.
The other day she calls me and tells me about a follow up appointment for a wound check etc. happening next week. Can my wife pick her up (90mins), drive her to the hospital (90mins) for the appointment (x mins) and driver her home again (90mins) please?
"I only ask because you said she’s on vacation" (wife is on vacation to look after our daughter). I say I’ll ask, knowing damn well the answer is going to be No.
I’m telling my wife all of this that same evening and it occurs to me; AITA brother for not wanting to take a day off work to run her up and down the highway all day? I just don’t want to be spoken at for 6+hours in a confined space!
NTA but you realize your sister went 90 minutes away to find an ER to give her oxy. You got other problems.
I was thinking this too. This is sus
Soon as OP said “calling around to other hospitals” I was like that’s doctor shopping to see who is going to give her drugs
Would it not be a bit odd to not be prescribed pain management for a broken leg though?
Not that odd considering OP said she’s a chronic pain patient as well. I worked in pain management years ago and if she has a PM specialist she sees it could be a breach of her contract as a patient to pick up a prescription for any medication to take home. The doctor shopping is def sketchy imo – she’s possibly been labeled as drug seeking at her local hospital.
I was only prescribed an anti-inflammatory after breaking up leg with surgery scheduled for days later.
NTA. She went for the cheapest option, but is costing everyone else gas money and lost time (free time and/or PTO).
Has she been treated yet for ADHD?
A broken leg that needs surgery is serious. They wanted the swelling to go down before surgery, or they would have done it in the hospital after she broke it. She’s in a lot of pain. I hope she’s actually staying off of it.
It’s not just the driving part. It’s the surgical time and recovery room time. And she shouldn’t be home by herself either. She needs help. Who is able to be there for her?
NTA for not wanting to be involved, but you really sound like you’re dismissive of her pain because you don’t like her very much.
That’s what I was thinking too. He could’ve changed the whole narrative by starting with the fact his sister has broken a leg and is immobile and unable to drive and uninsured. She needs a ride to the most affordable hospital and is he an asshole for not wanting to help.
Stop blabbing your wife’s personal business to her.
NTA and I say that as someone who makes farther drives to make sure my remaining family gets the best medical care.
You can’t simply “pop down” to drop her off on your lunch when the drive time alone is 3 hours. Depending on your job, you can’t just request time off at the literal last second because she’s asking for rides and didn’t think about it. Asking your wife to give up vacation time to drive her to appointments?!
Idk where you live, but the overwhelming majority of places have services that do transport when patients cannot do it themselves, a lot of the time covered by insurance or avaliable at a low cost. Look into that on her behalf as it would both be a nice gesture showing you care (and frankly I suspect you really don’t so… just fake it) and getting transport arranged otherwise will take stress off everyone involved.
NTA, but your dislike for your sister oozes from this post. You don’t owe her anything, but don’t expect any favors from her either.
ESH
Her for putting you in this situation, and you for picking this time to set boundaries towards her. You have had a few decades to do so, and you pick now, when she has a profound need for help (broken leg that requires surgery is fairly serious shit) to stop being someone she can rely on.