I started a new job about 7 months ago and became really close to my coworker. We’ve hung out outside of work plenty of times, and have developed a really close friendship.
We were hanging out with a couple of guys from work and somehow the question came up of “would you do xyz with a girl for 10k” and my friend said absolutely not, I couldn’t do it for a million. I joked and said I’d do it for free. My friend laughed and said “I don’t know how you could do that” and I said that it’s easy cause I like girls. Everybody laughed and we moved on.
The next day at work she asked me if I really liked girls and I said yes I’m bisexual. She got upset and asked me why I didn’t tell her and I said because I didn’t feel like I had to. I told her that I came out the closet at 15, and I don’t really bring it up except to men I’m dating or women I’m romantically interested in, I wasn’t attracted to her in that way so I didn’t feel the need to tell her. She said I was weird for not telling her, and that now she’s uncomfortable and she said she was really upset and that I should’ve told her. It’s been about a week and she doesn’t talk to me unless it involves work, she doesn’t text me, and I’m wondering if I’m wrong for not telling her? Or is she wrong for assuming I should’ve and making a big deal about me not telling her? Should I apologize for not telling her?
Now I feel uncomfortable at my job too, and the guys we were friends with are even acting weird toward me as well.
AITA?
NTA, and they sound rather homophobic.
That’s how I feel as well. I was talking to my mom about it and she said maybe she thinks I kept it a “secret” because shes assuming that since I’m bi I must like every girl who walks my way lmao, a rather homophobic assumption that I see a lot especially with homophobic men toward gay men
Bi people unfortunately fall madly in love with every single person they ever meet
We do, its really annoying. I just went to the shops and I couldn’t concentrate on buying a pint of milk because I was too busy imagining my life with the 60 odd Yr old cashier.
Its was lovely, Gerald would of treated me right.
NTA- it wasn’t relevant. She might just be jumping to conclusions and thinking you were trying to get close to her for romantic intent. Ridiculous I know but people do be doing that. Just let it go and move on. You don’t need to be friends with everyone.
Sounds like she’s homophobic. NTA, obviously.
I wouldn’t want to be friends with a homophobe if I were you. But it’s pretty obvious she’s not gonna want to be your friend anymore because you’re bi. Good riddance I say. But I understand it hurts </3 I’m sorry she ended up being a shitty person, you did nothing wrong.
NTA. Your “friend” sounds homophobic. If you were straight, would she have expected you to inform her of that? Of course not.
She doesn’t sound homophobic, she IS homophobic.
If the way you treat people is based on their sexual orientation, and you treat people worse when they have a certain orientation that you don’t agree with, you are the problem.
It’s quite literally the definition lol OP is getting a worse treatment after her sexuality came to light, how else would you call it?
I personally think it’s very important to call people out on stuff like this, and by saying “she sounds homophobic” you are still giving them the benefit of the doubt which you should ABSOLUTELY not do! call it like you see it!!
NTA. Only people who are very immature or bigoted expect you to explicitly and specifically out yourself to everyone around you.
NTA – she’s mad because she’s biphobic and/or homophobic. It sucks but at least you know now. She’s clearly not worth having as a friend.
NTA — Your sexuality is nobody else’s business.
NTA, your “friend” is homophobic.
NTA, her reaction is odd.
Did she let you know she was heterosexual? I’m guessing not.
NTA. Did she explicitly you that she’s straight? Or does she only expect queer people to randomly state their sexual orientations? She’s just being homophobic, I’d say something to HR.