My roomate had a guy over for a hw night. I got to the dorm and she didn’t ask him to leave. I was hanging on my bed and he was there for another two hours with me in the room. He finally left at around 12 AM. I was uncomfortable but didn’t feel comfortable kicking him out myself A couple days later they’re at the dorm again. I tell my roomate at midnight that I’m really sleepy and asked when they would be done. She said that they won’t be done for another half hour. He ended up leaving the dorm at 1 AM. I’m frustrated because he has his own house and there are multiple buildings they can be in on campus to do their hw together. She got upset at me for not letting her know when I had a friend over at a time where she’s normally in class. And my friend was there only for a few mins. Meanwhile she has him there for hours and doesn’t tell me in advance. AITA for asking her to not have guests over when I say I’m ready to come back to stay/sleep?
NTA. You are looking to go to bed at a reasonable hour. HW does not have to be done in your room. This is normal roommate friction and hopefully the two of you can reach an understanding and compromise that works for both of you.
From an outsider’s perspective saying that you want to be able to go to bed by 10PM on a weeknight is not unreasonable. Then again, I’m old and call 9PM Baja midnight, so…
NTA, but this is an issue you can take to the RA to mediate for you, that is why they are there. I get feeling hesitant, I would have been at your age, but in that situation working with the RA can help you guys come to an agreement. And if she refuses to work with you letting the RA know you’re having problems is the first step towards switching rooms.
NTA.
Try to find a compromise that is realistic, like no guests after 10pm or something and heads up is required, whether or not the other is there, in class or away for the weekend.
If you can’t find a compromise without intervention, ask the RA to weigh in and mediate.
If that doesn’t work, go up the chain of command to move, switch roommates, have roommate move out, whatever. You don’t havevto put up with unreasonable and rude roommate behavior.
Good luck.