This is bit of a silly thing but wanted to ask since this is bothering me
So my wife wanted to bleach her hair ash grey and I wanted to get highlights so we went to a unisex salon.
This was a pre planned thing so during the day I gave her both sides of possibilities (like maintaining it and damage to hair etc) if she bleached her hair vs getting just highlights on her hair.
I asked her many times to think about it. And later in the salon she decided to go for the highlights.
Now when the lady wanted to do highlights for my hair she kept saying that my hair was too short for her to grab onto and asked me if I would like to get my whole hair bleached instead of highlights, mind you my hair was short.
My wife looked at me and told me to get the highlights or not get colored at all. I should’ve understood the hint but I agreed with the salon lady and asked her to bleach my head and get me the ash grey color
She was all fine and happy when the lady was bleaching my hair and she was even smiling at me etc
But her simile disappeared when the final color was done and my hair had dried.
Now my wife is mad at me and won’t talk to me
And I feel bad and wouldn’t have got my hair colored if this would be the outcome
Edit:
I gave her both possibilities and told her that if she wants to do the bleached hair color do it.
YTA. Your wife’s hair color should’ve been decided between her and her colorist, just like yours was. You talked her out of something she wanted and took it for yourself — of course she’s mad.
Updating to YTA. I do hope you take this as a learning moment, though.
Info: Why did you ask her “many times” to think about it? Why not just mention it once and then let her make a decision? Is she somehow incapable of making decisions for herself? Why aren’t you concerned about the same issues you brought up to her? Right now you come across as really controlling, but maybe it’s just the way you describe the story?
Not gonna lie you come across as mildly condescending in this post; questioning your wife on her wants, asking her if she can handle the upkeep, etc. She’s probably just mad that she let you talk her out of what she wanted only to take it for yourself. YTA
Not mildly, honestly. I went back and reread the first part because I couldn’t figure out what it had to do with the rest of the post. Turns out…nothing.
INFO: It sounds like you tried to talk her out of the bleach job. You mention giving both sides but you only mention maintenance, damage, etc. and told her ‘many times’ to think about it. So it seems fairly clear you discouraged her from doing the all-over color she originally wanted and I am curious why.
I realize that you didn’t go in planning to get the service you discouraged her from getting, and that the circumstances are different with very short hair because if there is damage or you don’t like it, you cut it off and it returns to its original length quickly. But the two together were off putting to her and I can understand why.
Are you immune to the damage and maintenance risks of bleach or you just don’t think she is capable enough to maintain it… unlike yourself?
lol you talked her out of it then did the same colour, of course you’re the asshole 😂
Fair enough if she just decided herself to do highlights but yeah YTA
YTA. You talked her out of getting the hair color then got it for yourself. You knew what you were doing.
And she told him not to. He heard her and decided not to listen.
You talked her out of coloring her hair and then turned around and took her idea for yourself!! And that was after she told you get highlights or nothing! Why would you do that to her?
You took her dream away from her with your logic, and then did it yourself! That was a d*ck move and YOU ARE THE A**HOLE!!
YTA. The whole situation seems annoying. I was honestly trying to figure out if you were a same sex couple because that is the only way it even makes sense to me but I see you say unisex salon, so I’m guessing you’re a male. Sounds like you were doin a whole lot of mansplainin to her.
YTA. It sounds like you kept going “Are You SURE???” about what she really wanted, to the point where she read it as you not wanting her to get it, you thought it would look bad, then you turned around and got it for yourself. If you ask someone if they are sure, and they say yes, accept the yes and move on. If you stand around asking someone if they really want that again and again it is you trying to talk them out of it. So you pressured her into not getting what she wanted, then did it for yourself.
YTA. In another comment, you added that ‘many times was just a five minutes discussion during the day,’ which makes you an unreliable narrator. Then you took the hair color you talked your wife out of for yourself and are trying to make it seem like it ‘just happened somehow.’ Wow.
you talking your wife into second-guessing herself isn’t a silly thing.
YTA.