okay for a little context I’m 15 and my mother loves taking family pictures and post it on social media,usually I don’t think or really care about it that much but lathe she’s been uploading pictures of me without asking first like they be really embarrassing pictures and other random pictures when I’m not noticing or expecting it. I told her that if she can stop taking picture of me and ask first but I kinda said it like in a mean tone like yelling kinda vibes without realizing it and now’s she’s saying overreacting and my family thinks that I’m being dramatic about it and I shouldn’t hurt my mom feelings because of “insecurities” or some stuff like that
The thing is I just hate feeling guilty for saying it in a rude tone but I was just so annoyed of what she kept doing and now she acting like I don’t exist in the picture and cut me out
Should I just apologized and let her continue please I need adive and I wanna see if I’m really the asshole
Ps I would not show a picture of me on here since I’m a minor and I would not appreciate it on Reddit
Ps ps: clarification for the people she cuts me out of family photos then post online and I get that I told her to stop taking pictures of me without permission but i literally didn’t mean like cut me out of family photos she’s really being passive aggressive
NTA. do not feel guilty. you set your boundaries and your mom is ignoring them. ask her how would she feel if you posted candid photos of her.
well this is the passive-aggressive way to do it – a few extremely unflattering photos online will drive the point home lol
NTA you have every right to ask that certain pictures not be shared online and even more of a right as a minor. Some places are starting to form legislation about this because it really is a big issue
NTA.
When I was growing up, we did stupid things, had stupid hair cuts, wore terrible outfits – but the only way anyone will see them is if someone at the time had a camera, then had the film developed and prints made. Which was unusual for teens. I feel bad for this generation – especially for kids whose parents can’t see the damage they are doing by posting their kids whole lives – embarrassing stuff and all – for the whole world to see, future employers to look up, and future careers to be blocked or ruined by.
Everyone should have the right to not be online by default. Your mother is now crossing the line. You are old enough to start choosing how or even if you want your image online. The only possible compromise is you get to veto any pics you don’t like, and she needs to ask first and accept it when you say no.
It sounds like your mom is using unflattering pictures of you to make her post fun to view and now she’s behaving like a child because you rightfully called her out. Give it some time and have a talk. Mom should ask your permission before posting unflattering pictures and you get veto power over your image. nta
NTA. You have every right to expect common courtesy from your mom or anyone else about posting your photo online.
I don’t know how to get her to stop though. My relative did this to her teen and wouldn’t get it through her thick head it was unacceptable behavior. “Why??? She looks great! I wish I looked that good in a bad picture! She’ll look back later and love these pictures! I don’t see any issues!” Etc etc etc. It stopped when we finally all yelled at the mom which hurt her feelings so she sulked but stopped.
Good luck with her.
NTA, I feel your pain. I’m a full grown adult who’s now been no contact with my parents for almost 2 years, and my mom’s FB is still full to the brim of the most unflattering/embarrassing photos of me taken during personal, vulnerable moments. My entire life as a kid/teenager was spent begging my mom to not take so many photos of me without asking first, or at the very least, to not post them all on Facebook. To this day, her cover photo is the most horrible picture of me she took during a Christmas years ago.
It still affects me a lot to this day, as I developed major anxiety and dread around getting my picture taken. It’s not cool for your mom to violate your boundaries. You have the right to not want your photos spread all over social media without your consent, especially with the Internet being the way it is nowadays. It’s so much worse now than when I was younger. I’m sorry OP. Maybe you can show her this post and she will understand.
NTA. Apologize for saying it in a rude, disrespectful way. Then explain in a nice way, again, how it upsets you when photos of you are posted without your consent. Idk anyone who posts other people on social media without asking first.
Ntah you have every right to choose not to post your pictures on social media and while she may be your mother, she should respect your wishes about it. I suggest giving it some time to allow emotions to settle down and have a conversation with your mom. Apologize for your initial tone but explain that you don’t care for your images being plastered across social media platforms. If she doesn’t respect your wishes go on her profiles and report your photos and flag them for removal. Whether she likes it or agrees or not, you are entitled to autonomy and to not have your images shared without consent. She does not have the right to post your pictures against your wishes.
NTA
NTA. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting photos of yourself on SM. It doesn’t make you insecure. Tell your mom you do not consent to your photos being posted on the internet. Do you have an aunt or uncle or a teacher or coach you trust? Maybe talk to them about it and see if they can talk to your mom. In the meantime take a few embarrassing photos of her and your relatives that say you’re overreacting and post them on the internet.
Soft AH, only because it’s sounds like you didn’t try to have a conversation with her before getting snippy. If you’ve tried a conversation then N T A.
You are old enough to have an opinion of having your photos shared which means you are old enough to have your request respected. At the same time, your mom probably doesn’t see anything but the kid and family she loves. I never see what my kid finds embarrassing, I just see this perfect almost-adult that I love so deeply, but she asked me to stop posting pictures when she was 8 or so and I complied. In order to be able to take pictures at all I had to promise they wouldn’t be shared outside our immediate family, and I followed through. I still run every picture by her because it’s HER likeness, but it started with a conversation. I hope your mom willing to sit down and listen, and ultimately respect your wishes.
NTA.
The word “consent” is your friend. Consent is everything here.
It doesn’t matter what your mom wants. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the family wants. It doesn’t matter if everyone else in the entire world is happy with any and all pictures of themselves online. YOU are not.
It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand WHY you don’t want certain pictures of yourself online unless they ask you first. It doesn’t matter if they think you’re being dramatic. They don’t need to understand. They just have to accept it.
Practice saying calmly “I don’t consent to having pictures of me online unless you ask me first. Every picture, every time”.
Stay calm, don’t yell, don’t get into an argument, don’t let your mom try to drag you into a debate. Just draw that line, and hold it firmly.
If you’re still feeling bad about the yelling match, you can say “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier. I was upset, but I shouldn’t have yelled. Still, I meant what I said. I don’t consent. You need to ask me first.”
Having said that:
*and now she acting like I don’t exist in the picture and cut me out*
Do you mean, she cut you out of a certain picture and posted the rest online? But isn’t that a GOOD thing? Isn’t that what you wanted?
I think you need to make up your mind about what you really do want. Right now, you’re coming across as confused. You can’t stop her posting pictures of OTHER people. You only have the right to stop her posting pictures of YOU. And yes, that means sometimes you’re going to be chopped out or blacked out.
NTA. There are a lot of people on social media with ill intentions.