I (16F) recently hung out with a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a couple of months. Thinking nothing about it, I posted some pictures of it on my social media page, and then my friend (17F), let’s call her S, created an Instagram note, saying how she thinks I am replacing her with the friend I had just hung out with. I had asked my other friend (15F), let’s call her N, and she said that S might have meant it in a joking manner. I know that she probably wasn’t, and she was going to make a big deal out of this, right when I first saw it. After this had happened, I saw her reposting videos online (that she had clearly searched up, just for the point of reposting) about how one of her close friends was replacing her.
Side note, me and her do not go to the same school anymore, so it would obviously be harder to be as close as we were last year. This is not the start of her possessive behavior; a month ago, she started a problem with a mutual friend and me, in the middle of our hangout.
Getting back to the story: After I saw her reposting those TikToks, I recorded a video on my private account, the video is basically calling her out; I go more in-depth about it in the caption and tell her to communicate with me if she has a problem instead of just making up her own assumptions. I asked N if what I said in the video was rude, and she said that some parts of it were a bit too mean.
A couple of hours after the video had been posted, I realized S had blocked me on certain accounts. I retaliated by removing her from my private account, but that’s all I did.
She usually tells all our mutual friends about what happens between us, so I am scared she is going to tell them false/exaggerated testimonies about me, and create a whole lot of drama. I have a strong feeling that she already showed one of our close mutual friends, twisting the story to whatever fits her agenda.
I do see where she’s coming from, and I was probably being a bit immature about this situation. I felt like she was making a big deal about nothing. I believe that if S wants to talk about this, she needs to reach out to me.
So, am I the asshole for calling her out and making her feel this way?
Honestly, i feel like you’re not the asshole and she’s being insecure for zero reason buuut you could have also messaged her directly instead of posting about it.
Yeah it’s weird OP made a tiktok calling her out for not talking to her directly, instead of just messaging/calling her which seems rather hypocritical and immature
NAH only bc you’re all teenagers which means ESH too. This all very normal HS stuff and I’m sure it feels very important right now (and it is bc it’s your life as it is) – but in 15 years it won’t.
Every teenage post is immediately ESH
Yes you are t A bc none of this should have been a post you are 16 2 years to 18 and certain states would call that cyber bullying and prosecute you. It doesn’t matter really if she started it or whatever it was up to you to choose to do the right thing and end things the right way privately between you two. Honestly you are way too old to be doing this. If she gives you that much grief just stop being friends with her. Your 2 years from adulthood and the workforce.
NAH.
Looking back, what’s important in this situation is that you made sure you’re at peace with yourself. If you feel guilty, apologize explicitly for the reason and see how your friend reacts. If there’s no response, you’ll have lost a friend. I wish you the best of luck; the teenage years (almost being an adult) are a tough time.
I think I’m too old for this post
ESH and you more than her. Calling out a close friend on social media is asshole behavior. She clearly is missing your closeness, but she went about it in an asshole way. You, on the other hand, did it out of retaliation, which is worse.
This might be controversial, but YTA. Yes, your friend is being possessive, but you’re also kids – her behaviour would certainly be toxic and possibly callout-worthy from an adult, but she’s clearly dealing with big feelings (namely jealousy, probably loneliness) that she doesn’t know how to process or express healthily.
My fiancée and I have a friend who started behaving like this, getting passive aggressive and saying she feels like less of a priority, because we’re having a BABY. That’s out of line because she’s 25 and someone that old should have resolved or at least examined their own feelings of possessiveness and jealousy years ago. S is a kid and deserves much more sympathy and patience.
You should’ve just reached out to her privately, not in a video but in a text or maybe even a call. You have genuine reasons for being mad at her, but you could’ve communicated that without turning it into drama, and you should’ve spoken to her from a place of sympathy and understanding instead of spite and confrontation. You still can, and I think you still should, but it’ll be harder to repair the friendship or work through its issues now that you’ve escalated it like this.
ESH She was overly sensitive because she wants to be your friend and is clingly. You decided to put the effort into creating a tiktok on your account, which I’m sure has more followers than just her even if it’s private. Then you say she’s causing drama. Seriously?
Is “OMFG” a judgement? It should definitely be a judgment.
ESH. Why are you even friends? And I say that in both directions. She’s petty and insecure. You’re avoidant and prone to drama. The third person (N?) is a boat-steadier who should have told you both to either sit and spin or talk to each other. Since you already aired your dirty laundry, just call it a done deal, write down what happened, and then come back and read it in 10 years when you can truly appreciate how ridiculous it is.