Me and my sons father have not gone along for a few years. He hates everything about me, the air that I breathe to ground I walk on he despises. Despite everything that he’s done to me and has said to me, I let it be water under the bridge. I’ve tried to be cordial and I’ve done everything to try to keep the peace. My son’s father‘s girlfriend F 28 has taken upon herself to become a mediator between us. She has expressed to me that she does not feel comfortable with me having direct contact with him. mind you this is the same female that he was cheating on me with . This is the same female that knew that I was trying to get my family back together and still continued to run around with him. Her F 28 and his mother F 43 don’t feel that I am a safe person for him to be around without one of them present so any visitation or conversation one of them will need to be present. Even though you threaten my life on several different occasions as several different charges of DV and aggravated assault charges, I am the one that he does not feel comfortable being around because I am unsafe. She had previously told me that if I’d be OK with it if I’d be willing to give up my maternal rights to her so that my son‘s father and her could raise him as their own so that he could have a father in his life. I just find that so weird. Recently, I found out that she has been telling him that she’s been trying to reach out to me in regards of our son . She has been telling him that I have been rude and hostile and aggressive. That she has been trying for months, but has had a hard time reaching out to me cause I keep blocking her. I haven’t received one message from her or a call. Am I wrong for not wanting to talk to her? I believe that everything that I would say she would twist around and tell him. I feel like she’s a weird obsession with my son and think of him as a pawn.
NTA. This comes down to boundaries and safety. Your child’s father’s girlfriend, who was involved in past betrayal and has suggested you give up your parental rights, is not a neutral or trustworthy mediator. Given the history of abuse and the false claims she’s making, it’s reasonable to protect yourself from misrepresentation. While they may claim they want stability, you’re not wrong for refusing contact with someone who clearly has a personal agenda and doesn’t respect your role as a parent.
This is hard to read, I would recommend re-writing the start of it
NTA keep an accurate record of all your communications with both her and him in case it were to ever come up in legal procedures. Get copies of your phone records if you need to, proof she never reached out when she said she did
NTA, but considering the threats of violence and allegations she’s spouted at you, you need legal advice not a moral judgement sub.
Do not engage with her.
Do keep a strict and accurate record of every time she (or your ex) tries to engage with you.
For the love of god, proof read before you post. The first three sentences make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
We all understood, she is typing in distress. Please think twice before speaking out and acting nasty
That’s cause OP edited it. What they first posted made no sense and I’ll call it out if I want to.
NTA – your son does not need that kind of father in his life. Find someone who doesn’t hate your son’s mother (that is, \*you\*), if you feel he needs a father at all. (Male role models that aren’t toxic af are what’s important. Your ex doesn’t qualify.)
NTA
she can’t be a mediator, because she is not neutral. Ignore her, and document everything.
NTA, she needs to mind her business, and if she told the courts she’s the mediator they would laugh at her
NTA
Get a custody agreement and child support agreement drawn up through the courts to protect yourself and your son.
They’ve already said they want to take your son away from you.
Impartial mediator or nothing
NTA
You’re not and you know it. Documentary everything, and you probably should get a legal custody agreement. One thing you can request is all communication goes through an app that is monitored. If you do not have money for an attorney, there are low cost attorneys who work on a sliding scale.