My SD is 22. We have custody of her 2 year old for various reasons and she recently had another baby who she’s managed to hang on to for now.
Since she’s had the new baby she’s not really been bothered with the 2yo and if she does have him she either plonks him in a high chair in front of the TV or leaves both him and her with my MIL while she goes back to bed claiming she’s too tired. She’s also got it into her head that everyone favours the 2yo over the baby because we don’t include her in things or take her out. She’s been told he’s not favoured but as he lives with us and the baby doesn’t we can’t include her in everything and some of the things we do with him aren’t appropriate for a 2 month old. There seems to be lots of resentment by her towards the 2 yo.
Last week I asked SDs mom to have the 2 yo as SD should have had him the week before and let him down. She kicked off at my husband calling him a c**t and saying Wednesdays had always been her day. Because I needed to leave the house at 7.30 to go to work and she’s so unreliable with time or says she can’t have him because of xyz we made arrangements for him to go to her mom’s. I asked her if she wanted the 2yo today for a few hours and she just replied the baby isn’t well. She doesn’t seem to realise that if you have more than one kid you can’t ignore the other one if one’s ill (regardless of the fact the 2yo lives with us).
SD is a narcissist and has to make everything about her. Everyone’s birthday or special event she has to ruin and make it about her. She even tried to ruin our wedding multiple times until my sister and best friend got in her way.
Yesterday was my husbands birthday. He was 40. No phone call, text message or Facebook post came from SD all day. SDs mom came to ours to drop his birthday present off. When we told her he’d heard nothing from SD she immediately rang her and put her on speaker. She asked why she hadn’t called her dad on his birthday and she said and I quote “he doesn’t give a f**k about me so why should I give a f**k about him”. My husband was so upset he was inconsolable at the sheer contempt in her voice. I’m not sure what we expected but it definitely wasn’t that.
We’re having a party tomorrow and my husband doesn’t really want her there now after hearing what she said. He doesn’t like confrontation so I’m more than happy to tell her he doesn’t want her there because of what she said. Even if she hadn’t said that she’d try and ruin the party like she does everything else because the attention has to be on her.
WIBTA if I told her she’s not welcome at the party and her dad doesn’t want to see her?
NTA. Little girl needs to learn what boundaries are. She fucked around and found out. Maybe some time away from her dad will give her some perspective
It honestly sounds like its best for the 2 yr old as well
I don’t think she will learn anything with boundaries. Sounds like she is a real box of rocks.
NTAH but your step daughter sure is. I would never in a million years tell that to one of my parents especially on their birthday. Unless there is something we’re not being told about her treatment.
You do enough for her taking care of her kid and it’s not your fault she’s got it in her head that she deserves more attention. She’s an adult with two kids and needs to act like it. She will def try and ruin the party, make sure she’s not invited and make sure she can’t sabotage anything if you can. Tell your hubby this strange says happy birthday and to enjoy the day with people that actually care about him. Edit-spelling :/
Nta- I feel bad for the child that lives with her.
NTA Honestly unless she has court ordered visitation, I’d go no contact with her. She’s going to do far more damage to your family than she already has.
Bless you for stepping up
It’s not court ordered but our custody plan said once a month but we’ve let her have once a week since July. Since she’s had the new baby she’s been more and more inconsistent
Yeah tbh ID go by what you are legally required to from now on tbh she could try yo use that in court to argue for more custody if she desires.
No more giving into her mood swings related to her son. Go strictly by the court order in letting her see the boy only as per the legal guidelines. As it is, he’ll suffer more emotional damage if he is exposed to her more often than is required
NTA you need to go to court and get legal custody or be done with the lot of them
No way. She sounds horrible.
About time someone told her and her problems to get lost. Is there anyway to terminate her parental rights for 2 yr old? Get child support or garnishment of income? Apply for ss or Medicaid? Someone SERIOUSLY needs to get this person out of the picture entirely. That poor kids mental and emotional well-being have surpassed abuse. Not being welcome is the least of this bs. NTA for the not welcome part. I’m just not sure about this scenario. Good luck 🙏
ESH If your husband, her biological father, doesn’t want her there, he should be the one relaying that information. Don’t cast yourself in the evil stepmother role.
NTA. Frankly I’d be telling her to give up her parental rights or start paying child support.