i’m 18 and my family moved in with my mom’s dad five months ago. it was a struggle since we moved states and it took me a long time to get into college and find a job down here.
technically i sleep in the guest room, meaning that whenever someone from the virgin islands ( where my grandpa and mom are from ) come to visit, i have to share a room with my younger sister.
when other relatives visit, i have to clean my sheets ( they get thrown into my closet anyways ), stuff away any decoration of mine like trinkets or stuffed animals, and make sure i take any clothes out for the amount of time they would be staying there.
the longest i’ve been without being in my room has been a little over a week and we have guests at least once a month or so.
ever since i’ve started my new job, it’s been hard on me mentally and physically to share a room with my sister. i suffer from severe depression and moderate anxiety.
i prefer to have my privacy and miss being able to just come home after a long night at work and sleep in my own bed.
this time my grand-uncle just spent a little over a week in my room and i finally moved back in. however my mother told me that my grandpa’s great niece is coming over again to spend thanksgiving week with us.
her family still live in the virgin islands so she’s here alone and stays on campus, apparently they don’t let students stay during holidays or something??
i’m growing anxious and bothered by the fact that i won’t have my room for another week and im just wondering if aita for not wanting to give her my room?
Why did you move into your grandparents place ti begin with? If it was to take care of them because of their age/medical issues then it should be expected that you at least get the rite to your own space and get to treat the place like your own home.
Maybe consider moving out to your own place if you can afford it. Even something like a small studio would at least then let you have peace and control of you environment.
I have anxiety myself so I know the frustrations and needing your own bed/space is critical for mental health
my grandpa offered after getting in contact with my mother after years of nc. he felt bad about not helping my mom before and offered to house us while she saves for a house.
Ok, so it’s his house, and he’s facilitating your mother financially. I’m afraid in that case it is a guest room that you stay in when there’s no guests, ie you don’t have any negotiating power here.
The only thing I can think of is if the guest room is bigger, ask your sister if she would swap rooms, and then she would have to temporarily switch rooms when guests stay – but at least you wouldn’t have to move your stuff.
You’re not TA, but you also don’t really have a valid case.
No you are NTA at all but unfortunately you also probably don’t have much bargaining power since I assume you don’t pay rent.
I’m going to say NTA for “not wanting” to give up your room, but unless it’s your house and you’re paying the bills you don’t get the final say. If you want more control over your environment, figure out a way to move out.
INFO. Is it your room, though? Do you pay rent for the room? Do you have a written rental agreement? You referred to it as the guest room, so it sounds like you are just the guest who stays in it the most. You’re an adult, so no one is responsible for your housing except you.
If it were your room, you could say no to other guests staying there.
If you’re female, can you share a room with your mom while you don’t have your room? That might be a little easier for you. Or ask if your sister can share with your mom for the week, so your cousin can have her own space but your schedule isn’t disrupted either. NTA
NTA, but you’re stuck in a guest room, so it’s not really your room. Look into housing through your college, because the sooner you’re out of there, the better off you’ll be.
If you are the same age or older vs. the guest, do not move. If younger, follow orders and move out.
Move out if this is unacceptable.
NTA for being frustrated that you have to keep taking everything down every time someone comes to visit, however, you yourself said you’re sleeping in that GUEST room. That room is for guests. Your fortunate that you have somewhere to stay, you have a roof over your headand I’m assuming food in your stomach. Yes it’s annoying. There’s only one way to fix it. get yourself a really good job and find your own place.
NAH (no assholes here)
While I understand the desire for your own space, and moving things around so frequently would be stressful, unless you are paying rent/board and/or have a written agreement that this is your space, it is not reasonable to expect the the owner of the house you are living in (for free, presumably) to not offer space to visiting family if that is how they have always operated.
How come you aren’t staying in the dorms? You would have your space and would only need to be home on holidays.
Why can’t the niece sleep on a blow up bed in your sister’s room, or yours, so you can stay in your room? Or, could your sister share with you and sometimes give up her room? Seems like there should be more give-and-take here.