I (F17) recently broke up with my ex-boyfriend (M17), Ryan a couple months ago.
A few months after we broke up he started commenting on my friend, Leah’s (F17) posts.
Leah, Ryan, and I had been in the same english class freshman year so we were kind of a mini “friend group.” Because Leah and Ryan were friendly I didn’t think it was weird when she told me, even though they hadn’t spoke since Ryan and I broke up. He’d jokingly poke fun of her in the comments and that was it.
But the comments started piling up a bit and she told me she was uncomfortable.
I didn’t want her to feel like he was bothering her because of me or anything. Which I know is a bit selfish to think but the comments were starting to get weird and annoying and I wanted to rule out the possibility that it was because of me. And she was complaining ALL the time so I was getting really worried.
I messaged Ryan half-jokingly to stop commenting on Leah’s posts because she was getting uncomfortable and he said he’d stop. He texted Leah and told her what I told him and Leah said that she didn’t mind and it was “okay for him to insult her in her comments” jokingly.
I was really confused because this was the complete opposite of what she told me and our friend group.
I usually don’t get angry but this made me really annoyed because it made me feel stupid. Like I stood ten toes behind her all for her to invalidate everything I told Ryan. It kind of painted me as a crazy ex-girlfriend who was nitpicking at everything her ex did. I wanted to confront her in-person but I don’t do well with confrontation so I just made a group chat with the two of them and kind of went off on them in a voice-note. I called both of them weird and “f*cking shady.” I lost my temper a lot because I hate being painted as a liar. It makes me look jealous almost when all I wanted was to stand behind my friend. Leah apologized and said she was sorry and was only joking when she was complaining.
I played the voice-note to my other friends and while they agreed it was weird, they thought I had lost my temper way too much and that the comments were uncalled for. So AITA?
YTA. She was venting, but it’s up to her to decide how to handle things. You need to delete your exes number and not involve yourself in his business anymore .
It’s so freaking easy to block someone on social media, so if your friend is that uncomfortable with it, then she can do that.
Unless your suspecting legitimate harm from your ex just stop focusing on him. If you fo suspect harm then tell someone in authority
The problem with yelling is that people usually don’t hear the words you’re saying because they can’t help but focus on the crazy.