I’m (24m) going to visit a friend (25m) from college in his city, along with 2 other friends (same ages).
I was excited to spend some time with all of them. We’re all going to be there for 1 week.
Yesterday, my friend who’s hosting the trip kinda flipped the script on us. He now wants to do a road trip out of his city for 5 days, so during most of the stay when we’re all there.
We had talked about a road trip before, but for like 2 days, and just my friends.
More importantly, this road trip will be with his brother and brother’s friends. He’s been organizing it with them. Also important to note that my friend who’s hosting and the others who will be joining are international, and having hung out with them before I know they’re always gonna be speaking their language with each other.
My friend who’s hosting & his brother have already planned the 5 day roadtrip and want us all to confirm as soon as possible so they can make reservations.
I guess I’m frustrated that what was supposed to be a week with my college friends has turned into mostly a roadtrip in a shared car with like 5 other people I don’t know well. (We’re all going to be in the same car together for a long time)
I will be there for 2 weeks, but the other 2 friends will only be there for one week.
We’re gonna have a group call tonight with my friends, and I don’t wanna come off as a bad person when talking to them about it, I guess another perspective would help here.
NTA. You didn’t sign up for a 5-day road trip with strangers. Your friend changed the whole plan last minute, and it’s completely fair to say that’s not the experience you wanted. You’re allowed to protect your own vacation and spend your limited time with the people you actually came to see.
Setting that boundary isn’t being difficult, it’s being honest imo
NTA you guys made plans, he switched them randomly and also added more people to the plans you don’t even know. you agreed to the plans originally made and not this new one or these new people. just explain that to them if they don’t get it then that’s there problem
Don’t go.
NAH. I would skip it.
Why don’t you just go for the one week then
NTA…. I’d ask your other friends if they wanna do something else since your friend that’s hosting made other plans without consulting you. If not, then stay home and do something else. Or just go with your friends for 1 week instead of 2.
NAH. It could be fun, you could meet new people if you don’t have previous experiences with them. If you already know you aren’t going to enjoy yourself, then back out, but I would chat with your friend and keep an open mind. Ask if the other friends speak your language, it could make a difference.
Yeah that’s fair advice but it still makes sense he feels thrown off since the whole plan basically changed on him.
Just tell him it’s not gonna be relaxing trip for you and your backing out. NTA
Aren’t you a grown up…..don’t go if you don’t want to. Make your own decisions.
NTA
It’s not rude to say that you had a different expectation of the trip, that you’re not okay with the change of plans and to withdraw.
NTA, if you’re 💯 sure this new experience won’t be fun for you and you don’t have the energy and time to find out. You agreed for the first trip and now that it’s changed, it’s not available to you anymore. You don’t become an AH because you don’t agree to go on this new trip💕
Oh, just send a message to your host friend that you can’t make the trip after all, wish everybody a good time, and skip the call. Don’t give him any reasons, and don’t answer any questions about why you can’t come except that something came up that you can’t miss. (That something would be your being ticked off that he flipped the script). Don’t give him or anybody else a wedge to try to talk you into doing something you don’t want to do.
You know, some friendships have a time and a place, and maybe this one was just part of your college years. Who knows? He might be thinking the same thing, and distancing you three by adding his international friends and proposing a road trip with that many people in one car, which would end up being a *very* long week. I think he wants you three to drop out.