For context, I (f27) was with this friend (f26) since we were in grade school. We both know each other like the back of our hands. So she knows how much I have suffered from heartbreaks in the past as well as my most recent heartbreak which my ex cheated on me. She knows every pain I went through and the same goes with me.
So, a few weeks ago, she broke up with her ex because he cheated on her multiple times. So currently, she’s on her lowest point in life cuz they’ve been together for 7 yrs.
The same week she and her ex broke up, I also met a guy who I am currently dating. She knows about it but didn’t say anything. And just like what we always do, she updates me on everything she’s doing. I also did the same, but I updated her about everything the guy im dating is doing for me. I told her I am very happy and contented, and he’s doing everything for me without having to ask. I was just kinda disappointed because she told me in verbatim “Yk what? It’s very insensitive of you to tell me about all of that. Yk how much in pain i am rn. I wanna be happy for you but this is js too much. Its suffocating. I just don’t wanna talk to you rn”
Idrk how to feel. I wanna understand her, I have always been so happy for her whenever she’s happy because I have always been praying for her happiness. I js can’t stop thinking about why whenever it’s my turn to be happy, she can’t even support me. But also, it makes me feel bad for being happy while she’s struggling.
Am I really the asshole?
YTA not for being happy or for having a bf, but “I updated her about everything the guy im dating is doing for me” is too much when your friend is in pain from a bad breakup. All you have to do is say “he’s good, relationship is going well.” and leave it at that for right now, unless she asks for more detail. Going on and on about everything he does for you comes across like bragging to her right now.
none of you are. however there is a time and place, you could’ve atleast waited and then told her how happy you were. knowing how she truly feels from her last heartbreak it is kind of low to just talk about how happy you are.
i 100% agree with you
YTA
Youve only been dating the guy a few weeks, talking about him shouldn’t be your whole personality. You can say things are going well with him without going on and on.
Soft YTA. This is not about you – she’s going through something terrible, and doesn’t want to be reminded of anything romantic. That’s fair and expected, just read the room.
I don’t think you were actually being that sensitive to what she needed. I get how happy you are, but the last thing someone wants to hear is how amazingly lucky someone else is in love when they are at their lowest point. It would be one thing if she asked about your relationship, but she didn’t. Read the room.