My job is very seasonal, and right now I am in my absolute busiest time of the year. During this season I often work every day of the week and sometimes go three to four weeks without a day off. It is rough, but it balances out later in the year when work slows down a lot.
My girlfriend recently bought tickets to a concert next week for a band I have never heard of. She did not ask me beforehand if I wanted to go or if the date worked for me. She just bought the tickets and told me we are going.
The concert is on a Thursday, which makes it harder. I already have work scheduled that day at sunrise and again at sunset, so it would be a very long day. I technically could go to the concert afterward since it starts later, but that would mean being on the road from around 5 a.m. until close to midnight, then getting up the next day to do it all over again.
I told her I do not really want to go, mostly because I will be exhausted and this is the worst possible time of year for me. She is disappointed and says she just wanted to spend time together.
I understand where she is coming from, and I would probably be more open to something like this during my off season, but right now I just do not have the energy.
AITA for not wanting to go?
NTA, you need to rest. Hopefully she can find another person to go with but she really should have asked you.
NAH. She wanted to spend time together, which is fine, but she just picked a time that sucked. Maybe take the initiative to do something since you know your times that work best? I think she just misses you.
I don’t agree, I think it was inappropriate of her to buy tickets without talking to OP
Buying tickets without asking if he could even attend the concert was an AH move.
NTA, this is why communication is important
NTA. Can you guys not spend time together another day lol? This was inconsiderate on her part because she didn’t even ask you, it’s a band you don’t even like, and she knows your work schedule.
NTA
She should have asked you before buying tickets
NTA,
I understand she wants to spend time with you, but she should have at least checked in before making specific plans.
Maybe tell her very sweetly that she should enjoy the concert with a friend of hers AND include (and follow through) that you and she can do, whatever she likes but be romantic, and make a set plan. Let her know that time will be all about y’all spending time together.
Don’t let the plans fall through though. Make the promise and keep it. Good luck
NTA as someone who also works a job with ebbs and flows with workload, it is understanding she may be feeling lonely without time together but it was rude of her to make plans without checking with you first
Hopefully you can make time soon on an easier night
NTA. Sure she wants to spend time with you but she didn’t ask you what you wanted to do. Just bought the tickets and made the plans without consulting you. And you don’t even know the band!
She doesn’t seem to consider your feelings. Just made you feel bad for “not wanting to spend time together”. Maybe talk to her? Like an in depth conversation about the whole thing.
NTA because she didn’t consult with you ahead of time, but there’s another issue lingering that you need to address. Your GF probably just wants to spend some quality time with you, like a date or whatnot and it sounds like you are basically pausing the relationship for upwards of a month… That’s hard for some partners and it might not be something they want to keep experiencing — I would have a conversation with her to see if she’s struggling with you working so much and if there’s anything that can bridge the gap for you two