I (41 m) have gotten into a fight with my SO (43 f, also she’s Japanese which might put some context here) over a chimney sweeping service bill. Earlier this month I got a notification via email for a chimney sweeping service which happens once or twice a year. This is standard practice. However this company is new as the old one no longer operated here. I haven’t use any fireplace the whole year since I have mountain heating system so the service was not need. I contacted them and canceled the the service and got a confirmation via email that it was indeed canceled. I did not mention this to her since I didn’t think it was important since it was supposed to be a closed matter.
However, today while I was at work and my SO was at home, we got a knock on the door and the company guy started to perform their cleaning service. I didn’t know about this until after he had started. She contacted me about it. I of course told her I was confused as why they came and I called them right away and asked what was up. Once again the company confirmed that they saw my cancellation and they apologized, would investigate why this happened and so on. They also said I didn’t have to pay the bill either which was the thing I was most worried about.
Now, here’s the problem. The company is fine with me not paying the bill, I am fine with not paying the bill but my SO says since he still performed the service that I should pay the bill. I told her how ridiculous this is since this was a mistake from the company’s side and I should not have to bear the consequences of paying. The fight somehow escalated and she’s unbelievably pissed off at me. To the point of bringing in other fights we’ve had over the course of our relationship. Without trying to sound too defensive, but she really does sometimes make a mountain out of a molehill which is very tiresome. Since she’s Japanese I can understand her perspective, they are very nice and considerate people, but we do not live in Japan and I think it’s still unreasonable for me to pay for something I already canceled. It’s not that high of an amount but not that small to be brushed aside as well (around $220).
I probably should have dropped the matter right away and be done with it. But hindsight is a bitch. I did not expect her to be this pissed off and dedicated to a company over her own partner and saving money.
So question time, am I an asshole?
A possible compromise would be to tip the person who did the job and not pay the company since it was their mistake.
NTA the company has literally said “this is our bad, no payment required”
If your SO is so concerned about paying for the service tell her she can pay for it herself.
Does your SO have a job? if so, tell her she can pay the bill out of her own account.
She unfortunately do not have a job.
NTA and she needs to get over it.
Then she needs to get one so she can pay for this bill that you do not owe. Maybe is she realizes how many hours she will have to work to earn the $220, she will realize she is wrong.
You canceled, got confirmation, the company screwed up. Paying for their mistake is like giving a free $220 tip for someone forgetting their own job. Your SO can be salty about it, but it’s not on you to fix their glitch.
Nta. Let her pay then.
NTA. Your SO is so wrong, although maybe not an AH either. OTOH, maybe an AH for being angry about this when she’s so clearly wrong. But, much as you don’t have to pay (at least in the US) for items you didn’t order that are delivered to you, neither should you pay for a service provided that you didn’t ask for. If someone randomly starts cutting my grass, I don’t have to pay that person if I didn’t ask for it to be done.
That was my argument as well. If I had to pay that would invite companies to abuse their customers by “forgetting” that they had canceled their appointments and still bill their customers. But she didn’t want to listen to that point of view.
NTA. Not at all. Not in the least. 100% in the clear. SO needs to find herself a ladder, climb up it, and get over herself.
NTA. I don’t think this is about her being Japanese; companies bend over backward to appease customers there so it would be weird for someone to insist on paying anyway in a case like this.
I think it’s not about the chimneysweep and there’s something else bothering her.
You did everything you could to avoid receiving a paid service you didn’t want, and even the company agrees you don’t need to pay. If in Japan it would be morally expected that you still pay regardless, that’s fine, but that cultural norm would only apply to you if you lived there.
Stick to your guns on this one, you’ve done nothing wrong. Is it possible this was just an easy ‘in’ for your wife to start arguing about anything and everything? Sounds like it isn’t even about the chimney bill anymore.
INFO: Does she think the guy will not be paid by the company for the time spent at your house if you don’t pay?