ok so hi everyone i haven’t posted in here before but am i the asshole for feeling this way
i few months ago me and my cousin made plans for her to take me to get piercings this cousins names lucy, in exchange for her driving i said i would pay for her secret santa gift at our upcoming family christmas. lucy messaged me a few days before the piercing saying her best friend anna really wanted to come and was begging as she wanted to go shopping cause it was ok black friday. i said that was ok and i didn’t mind. i get there on the day and my cousin lucy told me anna is driving they also have another friend there frankie we drive and get my piercings and then they do a bunch of shopping now a few days later my cousin lucy had messaged me asking for gas money for anna and i don’t wanna pay at all she BEGGED and wanted to come to do her own shopping i didn’t ask her to come or to drive so why should i pay for her gas when she came to go shopping and i’ve already brought my cousins secret santa gift so do i pay or do i not pay i’ve asked a few people in my life and they are all saying im not a asshole but i should just pay the thing is i don’t think it’s fair to pay and what would i message back if i dont wanna pay please help reddit
am i the asshole? if i don’t?
NTA. She’s just trying to use you for money
If Lucy INSISTS that Anna needs to be paid for gas, then tell Lucy to to use the money you spent (and she saved) for HER secret Santa gift.
Tell your cousin to give her friend the Xmas gift you bought in exchange for taking you. Your debt is paid.
That is a very long sentence.
sorry i’m not very good at wording stuff i hope it still makes sense
NTA. Just say “Sorry no, I never agreed to that. If she didn’t want to buy gas, she shouldn’t have volunteered to come and drive. I hope you enjoy your Secret Santa gift!”
NTA. You kept to your original bargain. Lucy is being unreasonable, and she didn’t even do the driving. You should stop polling everyone you know about this though. That’s just a little AH of you. You’ve told the story plenty of times now. Anna should pay for her own gas money or get it from Lucy and Frankie, instead of everyone bullying you for it when you paid for the secret santa gift as agreed.
You give the money to the driver that you would’ve spent on the secret Santa gift for Lucy. Either way, you were expecting to spend that much money for a ride so that’s what you do. You just give it to the other person instead of Lucy.
OP already bought the secret santa gift.
sorry, I missed that part. Then no, Lucy can pay the driver the cost if the gift that OP already bought.
i would say to lucy “i bought your secret santa gift, as per our agreement. i will not be paying for fuel money as my share of the fuel money went to the gift as planned. your options are to return the gift that i bought or pay her yourself. you’ve gotten your money off me already.”
Her friend wanted to join, she wasn’t asked to come. She wanted to drive, she wasn’t asked to. And you already withheld your part of bargain so even more not your issue.
NTA. Tell Lucy her friend’s choices regarding your day have nothing to do with you. She wanted to join so it’s on her.