Hi, just looking for a quick judgment, this might sound petty and if it is and if I’m behaving like an AH I’ll drop the issue and apologize.
I’ve been recommending Gilmore Girls to my husband for something to watch, since we started dating really, I even showed him some clips and he said he’d pass, which was fine with me. I’ve loved it since I was a teenager and I also understand it’s not for everyone. Since I’ve known him I’ve probably watched the show twice over, by myself.
Yesterday we were at a family dinner, where a lot of his extended family were as well, and a cousin he’s close to. Anyway today after dinner, as we were watching TV he put on Netflix, searched up Gilmore Girls with full intent and then said his cousin had told him his wife got him hooked to this show it’s become a guilty pleasure of his.
I honestly thought he was messing with me. I told him I’d suggested it countless times, and me vouching for it had never been good enough but his cousin’s word was gospel. He was just like "are you sure this is the same show?" which just made me madder. I told him I’d seen it twice since I knew him because he never watched it with me so he can watch it by himself and I just went to our room. I heard him put it on for like a minute and then he seems to have switched to something else. I’m sorry for posting something so petty but really AITA for my reaction?
Edit: I haven’t gotten a chance to go over all the comments. The first few had made the point that this really isnt a hill to die on. I told him why I reacted the way I did, he said the way I described it and the clips versus the way his cousin did were very different, he didnt mean to blow me off. So anyway we’re watching it now. I’ll be sure to come back to this post!!
NTA. I bet he got turned off at the thought that it was a female-oriented show, and only opened up to trying it when a male recommended it. You don’t mention ages, but it sounds like the kind of thinking that young men use. It’s annoying and immature, but it’s not a big deal unless you make it so.
NTA, but the cousin is a red herring. It’s not really about him listening to his cousin, its the fact that he kept rejecting you and wouldn’t try something that you’re obviously interested in and asked to share multiple times.
Nta wedge salad episode of modern family
NTA imo. I would hate it if my partner, or anyone, ignored my recommendation, and then decided to follow the same recommendation only when given by a man.
NTA, I totally get where you’re coming from. The number of times I’ve been in this situation with men, it’s too many to count. There’s an episode of Modern Family that does the perfect job of showing this VERY common scenario – Phil has a wedge salad at a restaurant and Claire is pissed because she’s been telling him how good it is for years and he doesn’t try it till he’s at that same place with a buddy who recommends it – it’s always something simple like that.
Yeah, I (F) had a similar situation with a close friend (M) of mine. Two performers I love were coming to town on a tour, and my friend wasn’t previously familiar with them but I knew he’d love them too, so I invited him to go with me. We got tickets and I couldn’t stop talking for *months* about how excited I was for us to go to the show together and how much I knew he’d love it. My friend was never super engaged in those conversations, but I told myself it was understandable since he wasn’t yet a fan of them like I was.
The night of the show finally arrived, it was a blast, the performers were amazing as always. After the show was over, my friend turned to me and said with genuine surprise in his voice, “oh, they were actually good!” I was so hurt that he’d been listening to me rave about them for months and apparently still had no expectations of enjoying the show. He may as well have directly said, “I think you have bad taste in performers and I don’t trust your judgment about whether or not I’ll like something.”
The people calling you the a-hole are missing the point. NTA, you’re upset because your husband ignored you for years about something yet listened when it was presented by someone else one time. I’m willing to bet this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this.
NTA. Anyone saying you’re an asshole hasn’t experience the incredible frustration of having men only listen to other men whilst dismissing or outright ignoring women.
No kidding, and not just men who listen to them. I’ve been telling my mum for 18 years that she plays her radio way too loud but she’s not believed me. My brother stayed over for one night a month ago and told her the same and she believed him first time. I’m irrationally irritated with both of them.
That’s not irrational
Might be irrational to be mad at the brother.
Spent my entire childhood freezing in my bedroom. It was noticeably colder than other parts of the house, and I’d bring it up regularly only to have my mum scoff, call me whiny and tell me to stop complaining.
In my late teens a guest came and stayed in my bedroom for several days. At some point in conversation she dismissively mentions my complaints about the temperature and does her ‘I don’t know what her problem is’ schtick, only for the guest to say yes actually, that room is uncomfortably cold.
Suddenly she believes it, actually tries being in there for a bit and realises oh, guess she wasn’t lying all that time. And now it’s not ‘stop being a brat’, it’s ‘oh, the house wasn’t designed right and the HVAC doesn’t heat that room properly’. No acknowledgment or apology for calling me a liar all my life then turning round and believing someone else immediately.
She’s been dead for years and the memory of that dismissiveness can still get me angry.
The exact same thing happened to me!!!! I spent my teen years in a freakishly cold room so I spent a lot of time in my bed but I always got dismissed as dramatic. Cut to me and my brother being adults and out of the house. He spent one night in my room when he was visiting and suddenly my mom realises I wasn’t lying all these years lmfao it irritates me sooo much
Fucking exactly. This isn’t about Gilmore Girls, this is about having your opinion or even knowledge straight up invalidated by men and then suddenly treated like pearls of fucking wisdom when it comes from some other man. This happens to women constantly and it makes me ragey as hell. 100% NTA