I (16F) have a situation that’s causing tension with my mom.
A girl who used to be in my broader friend group, “Mia” (16F), got pregnant last year and had her baby in November. From what I understand, her family is very religious and I think her mom pushed her to keep the baby. Mia and I were friendly and got along fine, but I wouldn’t say we were close friends, she was more of a friend-of-a-friend.
My mom had me when she was 17 and lost all her friends after having me, so I think that might be affecting how she sees this. She keeps insisting that I go over to Mia’s house all the time because “she needs a friend” and says I should be more supportive.
The thing is… I don’t really enjoy going over there. The baby has colic and cries a *lot*, and the whole atmosphere is stressful. On top of that, when I *do* go over, Mia tends to hand the baby to me so she can shower, nap, or just get a break. I understand she’s exhausted and probably desperate for help because her parents are pulling the "you are the one who got pregnant, you need to step up, it’s your problem" thing on her, but I didn’t sign up for the baby nor do I want to be a free babysitting. It’s not my baby, and I’m not comfortable being responsible for a screaming infant.
I even told my mom that if it’s that important to her that Mia has help, she’s welcome to go over there herself and help Mia. My mom said that’s different because Mia needs friends her own age. I get that, but I don’t feel like I should be forced into being her built-in “best friend” just because we’re the same age and she had a baby and my mom pities her as a former teen mom herself.
I’m 16. I want to hang out with my friends, focus on school, and just enjoy being a teenager. Instead, I feel pressured into spending hours holding a crying baby I didn’t choose to have. When I try to explain this to my mom, she says I’m being selfish and that Mia needs support and a friend since no one else from our circle wants to go over there either.
I do feel bad for Mia. I can’t imagine how hard and isolating it must be to have a baby at 16. But we weren’t close before, and I don’t feel like it should automatically become my responsibility to step in like this.