Hi. New account for privacy reasons, im an 20 year old man. I have autism so sorry if any wording is weird. When I was 13 my dad left my mum and moved to another country to be with his affair partner. They now have two kids, 5 and 2. This year for Christmas im visiting him, my grandma is also coming so he arranged for me to stay in an airbnb about 10 minutes away as he only had room for one guest. A bit sucky as I am chronically ill and get flare ups triggered by walking but. I understood, however yesterday whilst leaving the flat I caught my hand on a door and after 5ish hours in an emergency room got confirmation it was broken. I have a splint. Bandage that covers most my arm and limits mobility, can just about manage a basic shower but cant make breakfast or get a coat on. Anyway, I slept on their sofa last night and today. Whilst discussing my dad said I could manage and he wanted me to go back to the airbnb. I said I wouldnt be woken up by the kids but he said it was largely about their needs. Since his 2 year old is often taken upstairs early in the morning and hes concerned about him being distressed by my being there. I expressed how I would feel alone and scared and abandoned especially because I dont speak this country’s language. And he and his wife begrudgingly agreed to let me try the sofa for one more night. But now I feel really selfish. AITA?
NTA
NTA
Can you go home early?
No. My mum is in hospital so nobody can look after me. Or help me with my hand.
Can your grandma stay at the airbnb with you?
No. Sadly not, shes 90 and half blind at this point, it’s why her being the one staying is non negotiable.
Sounds like you don’t have any good choices aside from toughing it out
Yeah. It sucks but, hey whatever yknow. I dont know what else I expected.
Why do you need someone to look after you?
Nta. dad and stepmom are. stop visiting
I’m sorry but he is a terrible father. No good parent would force their injured child out of the house, no matter what age. Not to mention he abandoned you as a child and now treats his other children better. You should not be going through this.
Yeah. I kinda knew that deep down I suppose.
This is a YTA for me. Sure the dad may be a bad person overall, but the specific question is about refusing your host’s instructions to get out, which, sorry, is an AH move. And OP is totally milking the broken hand thing, it just does not make you as helpless as he is describing. Fun fact, as an experiment I just went and tried putting my coat on with one hand in a fist as though I couldn’t use it at all. It was obviously harder than normal; it took me all of 30 seconds or so to manage it.
EDIT: OP says he also has a disability affecting his motor skills, so that needs to be factored in. It gets hard to judge, though. If it’s legit bad enough that he honestly cannot manage things one-handed that other people would be able to, then yeah, maybe they need another solution. Farm grandma out to the AirBnB or something.
NTA for wanting to stay and feel safe. It’s disappointing your dad is making such an issue.
However if they want you out, you don’t really have a choice, you can’t force them to house you. They’ll only be 10 minutes away so hopefully you won’t need to speak to anyone else. Plan for foods you can handle with one hand.