A couple of weeks ago, my friend and I went on a trip to Europe. While we were in Vienna, there’s this building with a huge red bow on top that has gone viral on social media. A lot of people have been taking photos in front of it, and my friend was very excited about it, she even brought a red bow as a prop to match the trend.
I also thought the place was beautiful and didn’t mind the idea of taking photos in theory. However, before the trip, I had seen posts online saying that the police were stopping people from taking pictures there and even fining them, because you have to stand in the middle of the street and disrupt traffic to get the shot.
To avoid any trouble, we initially agreed that if we were going to do it, we’d wake up very early (around 5–6 a.m.) to try to take photos when there was no traffic.
The day before that planned morning, we were walking around the city and accidentally ended up near the building. When we got closer, I noticed that people trying to take photos were being stopped by the police because they had to stand in traffic. I didn’t say “I refuse to come here” or “you can’t take pictures.” I just became visibly uncomfortable.
For context, I don’t handle confrontations or situations involving the police well, especially when something feels illegal or not permitted. Those situations make me very anxious.
Later, back at the hotel, my friend said she didn’t want to take photos there anymore. When I asked why, she said it was fine and that she had already taken pictures of the building, so it didn’t matter.
The next day, since we never went back, she brought it up again and said she actually really wanted those photos but decided not to because she saw how uncomfortable I was. She then called me selfish.
When I asked how I was being selfish, she said it was because I didn’t “overcome my anxiety” for her and that my discomfort prevented her from doing something she wanted.
I want to be clear: I never told her she couldn’t take photos or that we absolutely couldn’t go. I just personally didn’t feel comfortable participating in something that could involve police intervention or fines.
So, AITA for not wanting to take part in something that made me anxious and uncomfortable, even if it meant my friend didn’t get the photos she wanted?
NTA.
Break the law in Europe, go to jail in Europe (or get fined). This isn’t about your anxiety; this is about your common sense. Your friend is an idiot.
NTA
She told you she no longer wanted to go, so you guys never had the conversation. If she really wanted to go she should have at least spoken to you, or found a passerby to take her picture.
NTA
She literally thought she had the right to disrupt traffic, jeopardize the safety of others, disobey police orders, and mock you for having the right response to the situation.
For a photograph.
And for one that is already a cliche.
Has she apologized for her (hopefully) momentary lack of reason and kindness?
NTA. Visiting another country and then disrupting traffic to get a vapid photo for social media is shitty tourist behavior.
Your friend sounds toxic af.
you had anxiety because you knew that taking a photo in the way your friend wanted was being a bad guest. Stopping traffic or interrupting the lives of the people who live in the city you are visiting is rude. It makes it harder for regular people to go about their day and it makes it hard for future tourists. Likewise, it might ruin your trip with an encounter with the police that you’d actually earned since you had every indication that would be the result.
Wien is a beautiful city and I hope you had a chance to visit a Christmas market or two while you were there. The main one with it’s two level carousel and ice rink make for great photographs while enjoying yourself.
nta
NTA why is it so important for her that you be there while she takes this photo?
Sounds as if the local police are fed up with people standing in the street for this picture. Part of visiting a country is being a good guest. Making a nuisance of yourself with the local PD is poor behavior.
NTA
the only “anxiety” I see in your post is you caring what your “friend” thinks.
It’s not “anxiety” to not want to stand in traffic and get a criminal fine from the police. That’s just normal behaviour expected by rules of society.
Your friend sounds toxic.
You sound sensible.
It’s a stupid fad! I can’t understand this stuff. Everywhere I go cameras everywhere. Do you not have a memory, do you really think people give a shit when they see your photos. My wife and I went on a honeymoon for 10 days and probably took less than 20 pictures. Live in the moment!
NTA. I looked up the building, and I can easily see why the police are stopping people from crowding up there. It would be like crowds of people blocking Macy’s in NYC, that’s not a good idea.
NTA you literally saw police stopping people. It wasn’t I even theoretical that police are stopping people. Like you saw the police yourself.
Your friend is so selfish wanting you to commit a crime in what I presume would be a foreign country for you. And now she is making rude remarks to you. She is not a good friend.
NTA. It sounds like your friend was projecting.
This reminds me of the time my partner wanted to sneak in the tuna auction at Tskuji fish market. It was closed to the public. I happened to be sick that morning and stayed in bed. He went and got caught and escorted out by police. If i had been there, i would’ve argued with him and talked him out. But he got to do what he wanted and gave the tourists a show. Win-win.