I’m in a rigorous medical related undergraduate program. It being college, the majority of grades come from exams, with maybe a few here and there from writing papers, etc., but the majority are exam only. Anyhow, as such, like many other students, I read, study, grind, until exam day, take the exam, then rinse, repeat, until the end of the semester.
Well, I’m finding that it seems to be a "normal" thing for students to immediately want to talk about grades right after exams are over, not really the material on the exam, but just grades, how everyone did. I never really experienced this in high school, never really even thought about it. So much of high school seemed like grades came from not just exams, but homework, in-class work, etc. We all just did our thing, and went about the semester. It never really seemed like anyone cared that much about talking about their own grades let alone others’ grades. Honestly, I feel like most of us cared about socializing, unrelated to school, rather than anything else.
Anyhow, I realize that in college, grades may be more important and more of a focal point for some, but for me, it’s just like high school. I don’t really care. I do well the majority of the time. There’s always instances where I wish I had done better, but I always try my best, so no matter if my grade is good, bad, in between, I truly could care less to talk about it with other students. Likewise, I don’t really care about their grades either. Generally, I’m just glad the exam is over and I’m ready to move on as normal, on to the next.
Recently, I had a "friend" say that the only reason they could think of, of why I wouldn’t want to talk about grades (because I’ve stated this to her) is because I must have animosity. OR?- It could be that I truly just don’t care, not that I don’t care about performance or doing well, I just don’t care to stand there and talk about everyone’s grades immediately after the fact. I DO feel that people who have the need to do that ARE doing so for comparison or to gauge their own performance, etc. and that’s fine for them. I feel though, that it should also be fine that I could care less about it and it shouldn’t be assumed that it’s simply because I harbor animosity. AITA for simply not caring/ not wanting to talk about grades?
Mild YTA. If you don’t care, why not chat about it? If these are people who you want to keep good standing with or become friends, it won’t hurt to talk to them about it.
Thanks. I figured I would get this response, and I do understand it. It makes sense. Well, the one friend seems to like to compare, which is whatever, I guess, lol I just truly don’t care. But yeah, it makes sense, I should just appease her.
NTA. It’s your right to share or not share about grades. If your friend keeps pushing that’s concerning. „I don’t want to talk about grades because I just don’t want to“ is and should be accepted as a full answer
Why the hell is this on AITA. What is the conflict here. If you don’t wanna talk about something then don’t.
Aren’t grades for medical undergrad degrees important though? Like don’t you need to pass certain exams to continue in certain fields?
Yeah, but it isn’t important for anyone else to know one’s grades.
Sure, but I wouldn’t say it’s uncommon for college students with similar tracks to talk about grades on exams, usually when my friend group talked about grades it was to plan study sessions.
OP’s free not to participate. Or just give vague answers “yeah, the exam was hard.”, “I’m pretty confident I did well.”, “did you get stumped here?” Type thing.
NTA. People want to gauge their performance against others to know if they are meeting expectation. If everyone else got in the 80-90 range and you got 60 you know there is a disconnect between you and the material. And you have to take steps to remedy that. If everyone got a 60 though then you know it’s the instructor’s issue and as a group you can petition the registrar to review the class/exam. So that’s why people do it. Hope this helps.
NTAH
I made a rule for myself in high school that I would never discuss my grades with anyone else. That took me through college and grad school.
I passed that on to my own kids as soon as their friends in middle school started comparing grades.
I’s very easy to say, “I don’t talk about my grades” (and also, “Once an exam or assignment is done, I don’t talk about it any more).
It doesn’t take too many times saying that and people stop asking.
NAH this is such a non-issue. You can choose not to talk about it if you don’t want to and they can if they want to.
Info. I’m not really sure what the conflict is here. If you don’t want to discuss grades , don’t. I mean it’s not that hard and it isn’t even a topic that can go on that long once people have, idk, shared whether they got a B or whatever .
Maybe just wait until they finish , or just drift off when the topic goes on too long . Or change the topic to whatever the subject matter of the exam was.
Perhaps this is irrelevant, but be careful of coming off like you are superior and pure and they are merely pathetic grade grubbers.
Not the asshole. Your grades are private for a reason
They’re free to ask.
You’re free not to answer.
NTA – if they get pushy, just say something like, “I’m not interested in anyone else’s grades, and no one needs to be interested in mine.”