My husband has been watching our grandkids since they were born. They are 2.5 and 4 years old now. He wasn’t working when the first one was born and I was working from home so it wasn’t that bad. Then they ended up having the second one shortly after and my husband was watching two. Also, I was back to work full time in the office. He would get them around 630am and have them til about 7pm. This was 2 to 4 days a week. We did it to avoid the kids having to go to daycare.
Well we started having money problems trying to live on one income so we made an agreement with them to pay us $60/day we watched them. They agreed and would pay us when they got paid. Then they started being late to pay us, we would say something, then get paid. Then our daughter in law would start showing up later and later to pick them up, and hang out for an hour. She would send her schedule so we knew what time she got off. She would end up working an hour later and not let us know. Now, it’s been about a year since they’ve paid us anything. The kids are getting picked up 2 and 3 hours after she gets off (her drive is 30-1 hour) with no notice. We have made comments and stated we need to know if you’re going to be late.
Now they are showing up to family events with new clothes, nails, and shoes. We are struggling to stretch my paycheck. Now, DIL is making snide comments about me and comments to my teenage daughter. She is my MILs favorite and she can do no wrong. My husband has been the son that was considered the screw up. We called them over to discuss it and to tell them if they cannot pay us and on time and be here directly after work and on time, they will have to figure new childcare.
So, AITA for making them figure something out or should we continue to be taken advantage of for the sake of my grandkids?
Definitely not the A
I don’t blame you that’s just taking advantage of
N T A. They are taking advantage of a very good thing.
You did the right thing.
NTA – why did they have kids just to put them to bed after your husbands done all the work for them? You’re right to set boundaries and not be used.
NTA at all. The fact they know you are having money issues and not only don’t help but even make it harder makes them the assholes right away. Even if that wasn’t the case, they are not doing what you agreed even after you two asking for them to pick them up on time and for them to pay the amount you agreed, so that would already make it fair enough for you to be NTA.
That being said, this is as much your son’s fault as it is your DIL. Just because she’s the one picking them up late doesn’t mean it’s her fault, and it seems you place all of the blame on her.
NTA. It’s really nice when grandparents look after grandkids, but it should not come with stress and financial cost.
NTA, they are taking advantage of you.
Family doesn’t charge to babysit. Except when it comes to the situation that the grandparents babysit full time and that deserves to be a paid gig. You are charging too little money at $60 a day – even without considering that they are not paying you. Give your ultimatum, tell them the rate is now $125 a day, and that if they don’t pay that grandpa will need to get a job and you will both be out of the babysitting business. This is still less than 1/2 of the rate they would expect to pay for a non family babysitter.NTA.
You should have done this a year ago. MILs favorite? Excellent, SHE can watch them!
NTA. Give them a bill and tell them to find a daycare.
This is so sad. Your kids are totally taking advantage of you. And more importantly, they are barely seeing their children. Your DIL has some nerve making comments about you after what you & your hubby have done for them.
Don’t sink your ship to save someone else’s. You can’t swing it and they are massively taking advantage of you. NTA
You have not been paid for a year? Why did you let this whole thing escalate?
Give them 2 weeks notice, you can’t do this anymore. And expect them to hold your grandchildren hostage.