People of Reddit, hello. I’m looking for advice on how to fairly split an Airbnb cost for Christmas. Because apparently I am the asshole.
Context: My mom and I live in California. My sister, brother-in-law (BIL), BIL’s two kids, and niece live in Alabama. We know my mom really wants to be with all the family for Christmas, so we’ve been planning around that. Originally, we assumed we’d fly to Alabama and get a hotel since their house isn’t big enough for us. There was also a possibility they’d be in New Zealand for work, and we were open to meeting them there too. They aren’t able to travel to California due to money.
We’re \~45 days out, yesterday I asked us to finalize the plans so I could get flights booked and figure out my NYE plans. BIL + Sister told us they won’t have BIL’s two older kids until December 26, so they suggested going to Destin, FL, and getting an Airbnb. Dates: My sister/BIL + all kids: Dec 26 – Jan 2/3 My mom + me: Dec 26 – Dec 31 (5 nights instead of 7)
Total group:
* Mom
* Me (OP 20’s)
* Sister
* Brother-in-law
* Niece (age 2)
* BIL child #1 (age 7)
* BIL child #2 (age 8)
Total Airbnb cost example: $3,000 for 7 nights. EDIT: The Airbnb will likely be 4 bedrooms. (kids will likely share a bunk bed room)
My question is how should the Airbnb cost be split fairly? Options being discussed:
1. Per person including kids $3,000 ÷ 7 people = $429 pp for full stay ÷ 7 nights ≈ $61/night × 5 nights → $306 each for my mom and me
2. Per household/“unit” (my mom = 1, me = 1, sister+husband+kids = 1 → 3 units) $3,000 ÷ 3 = $1,000 per unit
3. Per adult only $3,000 ÷ 4 adults = $750 per adult
4. Per household/“unit” prorated by nights stayed $3,000 ÷ 3 = $1,000 ÷ 7 nights ≈ $142/night × 5 nights → $714 total for my mom and me
5. Per adult prorated by nights stayed $3,000 ÷ 4 adults = $750 ÷ 7 nights ≈ $107/night × 5 nights → $535 each for my mom and me
6. Other suggestions welcome (by room? Beds used)
What would you do?
I would suggest splitting it by room, and only paying for the nights you are staying.
#1 is the solution that makes the most sense and is the most fair solution. (In my family I’m the one who is married with kids and I still think this is the fair solution.)
Slight YTA. People should pay per room used. If you and your mom are each getting rooms to yourselves (or sharing a room) that will be empty when you’re not there, you need to pay for those rooms for all the days. If kids will take over the room(s) once you leave then you only need to pay for the days you’ll be there. If they’re getting a bigger place than they would otherwise so you can stay with them I don’t think it’s fair to leave them with the cost of the extra space because you’re choosing to leave early. If they’d get this size space either way, then you only need to pay for the days you’ll be there.
like this pov. Thank you. I hadn’t considered it this way. I think they are getting one extra bedroom than they normally would.
I mean, realistically the kids will end up spreading out once you leave, regardless of what they tell you. I agree this is how it *should* be, but the reality is unlikely to match if they’re opposed to the spend in the first place.
By the same token, you’re already staying for 5/7 nights, I don’t think I’d quibble over the extra two if you can reasonably afford it. How much would a comparable hotel stay cost?
Realistically, I think you split by bedroom, though there are also formulas out there that calculate like bedrooms separate from common areas, wherein common area square footage is divided by the number of people, so two people sharing a room would each pay a lesser share for bedroom space but would each pay more for their own usage of common areas. Tbh that’s probably the most *fair*, but it’s also the most convoluted, and unless there are a million little kids involved who will definitely spread out and take up more of the common areas, it’s probably not worth doing. The kind of thing where if you have to go that far in calculations, you probably can’t afford to go. (But like I said, I do have caveats for that!)
Overall, this plan may just be a bit too convoluted.
I think the easiest way to do this that’s also reasonably fair to everyone is to divide the total cost by the 4 bedrooms required. You pay 1/4, your mom pays 1/4, your sister and her husband pay 1/2.
Your share: $750
Your mom’s share: $750
Your sister+BIL’s share: $1,500
I probably wouldn’t bother breaking it down by night. Doing so would only make a difference by a bit over $200 total.
You also need to calculate costs for groceries, bottled waters, etc.
However, I’m curious what your sister and her husband think is fair?
NAH… I think “AITA” is the wrong question, this is more about personal finance.
These all seem like plausible options, despite the variation in cost. Scenarios one, four or five make the most sense to me personally, especially considering you and your mother have to purchase flights from California and potentially rent a car.
But there are also other factors like everyone’s relative financial situation and the group dynamic
NAH. This is a “win-win or no deal” scenario. If all parties can’t agree, you don’t do the trip.
Even if this AirBnB requires a 7-night stay, there are others that would allow a 5 night stay. If you and your mom are only staying 5 nights, then you have NO responsibility to help pay for the extra 2 days. If they don’t want to pay for the 2 extra nights themselves, then the plan should be for 5 days.
Usually people split the AirBnB evenly per bedroom. If you and your mom are taking your own rooms, then you’d each pay 1/4 of the cost for the 5 nights.
Cluster fuck train wreck dumpster fire in the making. They are strapped for cash with the three kids. Here’s the deal no matter which way you do it someone isn’t going to like the way it’s going down. Don’t go. You and your mom can share a hotel room. The fact that this is a huge house 4 bdrms is because there’s 5 of them. You figure it like this you and mom one bdrm each. They’re taking up two bdrms when ch about doubles the price. They should be paying for half of everything imho
Who decided that they wanted to stay longer? Them? Well, then they pay for the extra nights. As for kids, if money is this much of a problem, they are all small and could all sleep in the living room and have a pajama party. Honestly, Kids should not pay the same as adults at all.
Divide by bedroom, and if there is a suite make an auction to see who wants to pay more to get it. Why can’t you share a room with your mom? And if not, yeah, each one pays for their own bedroom then.
If you all want to get really really petty, divide by sqft.
By room is the way here, just like if it were a hotel. It’s a 4 bedroom so each room is
$3000/4=$750.00 total trip
$750/7=$107.14 per night
You and your mom are using 1room each for 5nights so
$107.14*5=$535.70 each
Your BIL/SIL are using 2 rooms for those 5nights so
$107.14*2*5=$1,071.40
Plus they have access to all rooms for 2 nights
$107.14*4*2=$857.12
So $1071.40+857.12=$1,928.52 total for the family of 5.
There’s about $.08 lost there because rounding that I’d just roll into mine if I were you. NTA for not just splitting it 3 ways.
You get 1 bedroom so you pay 25% as does mom. Sis pays 50% as they are taking 1/2 the bedrooms.
Over Christmas/NY there’s usually some sort of minimum night requirement. If that’s 7nights, then you and mom should contribute for all nights, because that’s the min cost to stay there regardless. But if it only has a 5-night minimum and the rest have chosen to stay an extra couple of nights, then they should pay for the full price of those extra days. I’d do option 5 but split it by 4 rooms rather than 4 adults. So essentially sis & her family pay half, you & your mom split the other half for 5 days, sis pays in full for the other 2 days (if it’s 7 nts min).
I would rent the air bnb for 5 days and have the people staying longer move to different accommodations they can afford on their own. You didnt make them book their trip longer. If they want a longer trip they can pay for it.
Of course my family hops accommodations to save money and to change things up so I would have no problems with this (and yes we do it with little kids).
I’d do it per bedroom. $3,000/4 that’s 750 per bedroom and if you really wanted to be super picky you could figure out the cost per night for the seven days and deduct it from you and mom then add it to sister’s two rooms. Or you could think how lucky you are you’re not paying for tickets to New Zealand and just ask your sister “How much do I owe you?”