My friend \[19F\] invited us (same age ish) out to dinner to meet her dad. We went to a Chinese restaurant and she told us he would pay. She and her dad are vegetarian, so obviously they only ordered veggie dishes, but the rest of us eat meat, so we ordered two meat dishes, cause we all like meat! No one likes just vegetables. No one said anything, her dad paid and we took the leftover meat home, cause obviously they didnt want it. The next day my friend was all mad cause we ordered meat. Apparently it was rude to make her dad pay for something he couldnt eat and that we excluded her from the table. But come on it was 2 dishes out of like 6. There was tons of stuff they could eat. Also, she isn’t usually like this. Whenever we go out, she never gets pissy about us eating meat, so idk why she’s overreacting now.
I think what she is annoyed about it not the meat per se, but the fact that her father was paying and you seem to take it for granted that you could order whatever you wanted.
Meat dishes are more expensive and you knew he was a vegetarian. So in your position I might have said can we choose from anything on the menu? Or I might have asked if it would be alright to place an order knowing that you were dining Family style and two of the party with vegetarians.
The fact that you don’t seem to get this and you’re stuck on the meat thing shows me that you are a little socially unaware and you probably came across as rude.
I’m gonna say YTA because of your attitude. Instead of dismissing her as overreacting, just acknowledge what she’s saying. She knows her dad; it’s likely that he wasn’t happy but didn’t want to make things difficult for her. He paid for your food. Sounds like a nice guy.
Next time either don’t go or go and order vegetarian food.
Did you even ask ‘is it cool if we order something that isn’t vegetarian?’ ?
YTA for “nobody likes just vegetables”, you sound obnoxious AF and if you said stuff like this at dinner with vegetarians, double YTA.
NTA for ordering meat dishes regardless of who is paying.
INFO
Was this being served family style? If so, then yes it is pretty rude to order dishes that exclude anyone, especially the host.
Soft YTA- but you are also young and it’s not surprising you maybe didn’t consider that it would be polite to order things your host could eat too. Especially since Chinese food is typically served family style. You could suck it up for one evening and see what kind of dishes they would recommend since you aren’t familiar with Chinese veggie dishes.
I’m assuming this is family style, otherwise the sharing comments don’t really make sense.
In with case soft YTA. Especially 2 out 6 dishes. 1/3 of the food was inaccessible to both the friend and her dad but he paid for all of it. It is definitely rude and the dismissive way you’re writing about her probably made you come off as a lot ruder than what you wrote
YTA it sounds like you had a family style meal with two people who you knew were vegetarians, being paid for by a vegetarian. Ordering dishes you knew they couldn’t eat was inconsiderate. And your attitude about “no one likes just vegetables” is ridiculous. You could eat vegetarian for one meal as a courtesy when someone else is paying
Or skip the meal altogether if it was that much of a torture.
Not double down, order too much that she can’t finish, then take home the leftovers because **clearly** the host didn’t want any.
a) was it served family style b) were the meat dishes significantly more expensive?
if the answer to either of them is yes, then YTA
“No one likes just vegetables” clearly untrue given that your friend and her dad and millions of other people are fine ordering vegetarian.
Regardless, I do think YTA for not talking about it beforehand or asking whether everyone was okay with a couple meat dishes if you were ordering food for everyone to share. If you’d been ordering individual meals that would be one thing but if the intention was for everyone to share you needed to have a conversation about what the rules were.
(Also… there’s lots of great vegetarian Chinese food.)
“no one likes just vegetables”..is eating dinner with two vegetarians
The irony in this shows such a huge lack of self-awareness. They literally put both statements in the same paragraph and didn’t see it.
Yeah the way she said that made me want to say YTA. She’s definitely framing this to make herself not look bad.
YTA
No offence OP but this sounds like a culture thing and a major demographic of this subreddit is American and White so the people saying you’re not in the wrong aren’t going to get it. Chinese restaurants are often family style, it is incredibly rude to order a dish for yourself not meant to share with the table. And depending on the culture of your friend, it’s traditional for her father to pay but you’re expected to show respect for their lifestyle and adapt to the moment. Also you’re 19 grow up and eat some vegetables for one meal it won’t kill you.