My friend group has been broken for a while. Long story short: My friend (18M, referred as E) started dating the girl who my other friend (18M, referred as A) had liked before and had been friends with her since childhood. Now, I’d like to clarify that E only started dating her in April 2025, she had rejected A roughly 6 months before that, meaning that she and A never dated at all, they were just close friends.
This led to the group breaking apart, with some ups and downs were a comeback was possible, but by September (this happened in April) it became clear that the friend group was no more. This left me and my best friend (18M, referred as P) on a very bad spot, since we weren’t involved in any of this but now felt like we had to pick a side. We chose to remain neutral, but I finally broke that neutrality this last month.
It’s worth noting that whilst E had moved on (he was happy with his gf), A clearly hadn’t. More often than not, when we hopped on Discord, he would sometimes ramble over and over again about the whole situation. Talking bad about both E and his girlfriend. Me and P tolerated this, since we didn’t want to make him mad, but we were clearly getting tired of A’s monologues about the situation.
Eventually, one of those Discord nights I was done. He was talking about how she had seen one of his friends and told him that her and A were fine, which according to A they weren’t. That’s when I told that: respectfully A, It’s been a year since she rejected you and 6 months since they started dating. You still caring is actually extremely pathetic.
A was extremely surprised, since until now I had just agreed with him on everything he would state (me and P didn’t actually agree on everything, but we just didn’t want to argue or make him mad). He quickly told me how he has moved on, but he just sometimes feels like yapping about it.
I told him (roughly): No you haven’t, I literally don’t care about it. You have been saying you’ve moved on for almost 4 months and yet you still bring it up. Your feelings are meaningless to me at this point, you’ve said a lot of bad things about both of them, grow up, stop insulting them and stop talking about them. Period.
Now, I’ll admit my choice of words was quite harsh, and I would change the way I expressed this. But understand that, from my perspective, it had been 6 months of this happening every 2 or 3 nights on Discord (which we would hop on almost everyday). I got very tired about it.
A and me had an argument which basically ended up in him saying that in his mind I was no longer his friend the same way I was before. He removed me from close friends on Instagram and we barely talk just the 2 of us, it always has to have P on it. Also, according to P, A claims that he can no longer trust me, and that he won’t share any personal issues with me.
AITA?
Seriously, A is the AH for nuking the friend group over a rejection that happened half a year ago.
And this is one of the hazards of asking out someone you’re friends with. Rejection is always a possibility. If I were OP, I wouldn’t consider the loss of A as a friend a loss at all. He’s apparently super comfortable shit talking all his “friends” behind their back and blaming everyone else for things not going his way. So a girl didn’t like him as anything more than a friend. That doesn’t make her a bad person. A needs a little self reflection time.
A should learn that it’s time to let go.
You should learn that if “the friend group is no more” (as you put it), it’s time for YOU to let go.
You can’t change any of them.
ESH for all this pointless drama.
ESH, yes it’s assholish of him to keep complaining about someone you’re friends with.
However, if this was the first conversation you had about him not bringing his heartbreak up the entire time, your tone was way way too hard.
He had zero clue you felt this way and you immediately went for the throat with calling him extremely pathetic, among other things.
If you do whatever you did he feels like you’re agreeing with him every step and you suddenly flying off the handle. You can say you didnt ever agree with him but if you just let someone talk and you answer with silence, they’re going to think you agree because that’s the impression you give off.
You should have brought this up earlier in a nicer tone. “Look dude, you say you’re over the situation but whenever we’re on discord, the only thing you talk about is those two. If you’re really over it I dont want to hear you complaining about them this entire night.”