I’m currently in high school (16F) and I recently got the results for my board exams (these are very important exams in my country I’m really not sure how other education systems operate so please don’t mind my explanation) and got 93% in the results I was on a trip with my mom and visiting my brother and his girlfriend in Australia. Me and my brother have always had a very very close bond I tell him stuff I don’t even tell my mom (he’s the one who helped me get my life back on track. For context at the start of 2023 I got into some bad company and started doing stuff like vaping and drinking he never pressured me to stop but he always gently and subtly told me it wasn’t right he’s the reason I quit and stopped hanging out with those people as the guilt was eating me alive). I got the results when I was in Australia the results came out and I was obviously very excited I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary I got a few calls to congratulate me (like I said these exams are very important) My father said he was proud of both of his kids and then congratulated me separately but after all of this when we were going to sit down for dinner my mom whispered to me that I should tone it down a little bit as my brother was feeling bad and his girlfriend agreed but I really truly didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary I would never ever intentionally want to make him feel bad about anything (my brother scored average in these exams but he’s 7 years older than me so I didn’t think that would be an issue and I’m very very very proud of all he’s accomplished he has his own very awesome and cool achievements like recently he was top of his class in a project he made) now that we’ve come back from my brothers place in Australia I feel a little bit awkward whenever anyone discusses even other unrelated achievements of mine infront of my brother (I want to make clear that I would never do anything to hurt him ever he’s my brother and dare I say a second parent to me) what should I do?
NTA, you’re allowed to be proud of your own accomplishments and I’m sure your brother is proud of you too!
NTA, no need to dim your light so your brother’s light is visible. You did well and should be proud. Don’t make yourself small for other people. He’s a grown man and is perfectly capable of managing his own feelings.
NTA at all, you should be proud of what you’ve achieved. Maybe have a separate conversation with your brother and tell him how much you’ve appreciated his support in getting you back on track, and that you wouldn’t have been able to do it without him helping set you straight. It’s showing appreciation for him without apologizing for your own achievements. This also isn’t really necessary, but if you feel like it’s something you want to do for your brother, go right ahead.
Your mother and his girlfriend should not be comparing your achievements to begin with.
I’d agree with this one right here. NTA – you worked hard but if he’s the reason you were able to get back on track and focus on making this achievement, an acknowledgment of how much he’s influenced/supported you may help soothe any awkwardness