this started bc i bought tacos from chipotle when i was out at school. i had an extra taco, and while i was downstairs putting it away, i asked my dad if he wanted the extra one bc i wasn’t going to eat it, and he said he would take it.
today while we were all in the car, i asked my dad if he ate it, and he said he forgot. then my mom says “where’s my taco?”. the reason i only offered it to my dad is because 1) he often eats leftovers i get from restaurants (and my mom even made jokes about my dad being greedy for eating them), 2) my mom doesn’t eat from outside much; certainly less than my dad, and 3) i just happened to see my dad first in the kitchen. i wasn’t thinking of “purposely excluding” my mom from the extra taco.
i went to my parents rooms to talk to both of my parents, and my mom had an attitude and accused me of playing favorites. i told her i wasn’t, and gave her the reasons why i didn’t offer the taco that are listed above. she said “if you have one taco, you better be splitting it between us two”….
so AITA for not splitting the taco and offering it to both of them?
You weren’t really playing favourites imo. You thought logically, maybe too logically lol. Don’t overthink it, you’re nta
NAH. Just tell her now you know it’s important to her, you’ll tell whichever parent you see first to save half for the other in case they want it.
I feel like people are 50/50 split on if they’d care about getting offered leftovers? I get bummed when I miss leftovertunities and get in my head that it’s because I’m less loveable, even though I know that it is silly.
NTA! Your mother is unhinged. Were you expected to read her mind?
NTA – If your mom is serious she probably needs therapy
Mum needs to chill. I bet if you’d cut it in half, she wouldn’t have even wanted it.
NTA
NTA
Is this normal behavior for mom? You don’t say how old you/your parents are but speaking from experience, perimenopause can wreak havoc on moms emotions. I can 100% see myself having this sort of reaction in the moment, sometimes I feel like a teenage girl again. It’s so embarrassing lol
NTA. It was one leftover taco, not a family inheritance
You’re NTA.
Your mom is acting like a child. She should realize the person who **wasn’t** offered that taco must be the favorite. /s
NTA
If your mom brings it up again you could always go nuclear and say ‘Actually, now that you’ve got me thinking about it, Dad IS my favorite. If I offer him a taco he says thank you. If I offer you a taco, he doesn’t throw a week long tantrum about it. What’s not to like?’
NTA that sounds exhausting.
Edit: (because this part just occurred to me) You were not in any way playing favorites in this example. But you know what? Kids are ALLOWED to have a favorite parent. They’re allowed to be closer to one than the other. It’s not like being the parent where you have to be really careful to not show favoritism. Generally when a kid is closer to one of their parents, there’s a reason, and it’s not the kid’s job to even things out.
TBH, my favorite parent would definitely be the one who doesn’t whine about favoritism because I offered a taco to the person who was in the room with me.
NTA
Maybe even NAH, because your mother’s feelings are coming from somewhere even though she was overreacting.
Could your mother be feeling unappreciated? Of your parents who would be the one who does the most for you in terms of acts of service? Does she put herself out to make sure you get what you need and, possibly, extra treats or attentions? Do you ever do nice things for her for no particular reason?
Just things to think about.
Expectations about the give-and-take in your relationship can change when your children transition into adulthood.
NTA. Consider offering her to include her more moving forward though. It’s not about the taco, it’s about feeling a lack of inclusion in things. She’s an ass for how she communicated it though.
NTA. Your mum is seriously overreacting to an innocent thing. Does she do things like this often? While I can see she might have been a little miffed that you didn’t think to give it to her it doesn’t seem like a big enough thing to make a huge deal out of it. Unless perhaps you regularly favour your dad for more important things? Either way, she is acting like a child and if there are deeper issues she should be adult enough to talk to you about it and tell you how it makes her feel
NTA. Your mum sounds like an immature brat.