In my culture, some people believe in the “evil eye”, the idea that when others are jealous of you, they can direct negative energy your way and cause misfortune. Because of this, some people, including my friend (Anna, 20F) avoid sharing good news to anyone outside of close friends and family until after they have happened.
I (20F) recently went on a trip with Anna and another friend (Jenny, 21F). Before the trip, Anna asked us not to post anything on social media while we were away, specifically to avoid the “evil eye”. Jenny isn’t very active online, so she didn’t post anything anyway. However, I’m moderately active on social media, so I posted a story about one of our activities. Anna wasn’t featured at all, and there was no indication that she was there with me.
I genuinely hadn’t realized that her request was that serious and was surprised when she got angry. She asked me to delete the story and not post anything else until we got back.
I felt that was unreasonable. I told her that she might believe in the evil eye but I don’t, and that I enjoy sharing things while they’re happening because that’s when I’m most excited and want to share it. For those reasons, I refused to delete the story or stop posting.
Now Anna is angry with me. AITA?
I think NTA if you kept her out of it and didnt show / insinuate she was with you. You respected her boundaries but shared what you were comfortable with
NTA
Anna gets to set her own boundaries: “I will not post on social media” or “I will not hang out with people who post on social media.” What she absolutely *should not* be doing is attempting to control *your* social media usage.
You were considerate enough to not post her or indicate she was present. She’s the asshole here.
NTA. You went out of your way to make sure that Anna wasn’t mentioned or featured in your post. You’re entitled to post to your own SM about your own activities. Anna is the AH for trying to control what you post about yourself
If you hang out with irrational people they will eventually direct their magical thinking at you. When something bad happens to her she’ll claim it’s because youre a demon or whatever.
NTA. It’s completely reasonable to ask for her not to be shown or mentioned online but she is over stepping in asking you to not show yourself, that’s your choice to make.
If I was in this position I probably would let her know I won’t be going on trips with her if I can’t even post my own photos
NTA
She is free to have her beliefs but she can not control your activities AT ALL when you are not featuring her, mentioning her or tagging her in any way.
She is crossing a line here and is TA
NTA. Your friend has no right to dictate how YOU behave. She can ask that she not be involved, that’s her right. But even that is just a request. If you were to not honor her request of not posting her, sharing her news, etc. that would be pretty shitty as a friend and person that you care about but that’s not the case here. You didn’t post anything about her (according to you). Why should her wants supersede yours? Meaning, she doesn’t want anything posted bc of evil eye but you don’t believe in it and want to share your life? Whose needs win? The middle ground and most viable / sustainable system is first and foremost allowing each person the autonomy to act as they wish and secondly, asking for reasonable concessions. Hers isn’t reasonable.
“I genuinely hadn’t realized that her request was that serious and was surprised when she got angry.” YTA. If you didn’t intend to honor her request you should have told her that upfront. Superstitious or just not wanting your life posted on line, when people ask and the ask isn’t honored the posters are AH’s. The lack of her name or photo is beside point and you clearly stated you prefer to post while things are happening and that was your reason for posting when you did. I agree with her. I would be upset too if I was of the impression my friends would honor my request then dismiss it as unserious.
NTA – she can be as superstitious as she wants to be, but it’s not okay for her to force her beliefs onto you, especially since you didn’t reference her in any way.
NTA
NTA if the posts had no images or mention of Anna. That’s no different than a complete stranger posting about the same tour she’s on.
Info, please
I don’t understand this situation. How does you posting about activities with no mention or pics of her affect her? She’s not posting. Does the “evil eye” affect her if you’re responsible for the post even when she doesn’t know til after it’s posted? How would people know she’s there unless she’s mentioned or pics of her posted? Would this happen if her family talks about the trip?
I guess if bad things happen to me because of the “evil eye” (eg something going wrong with our reservation etc) they’ll probably affect her too since we’re together