Throw away for obvious reasons
Im a 63 f and I’m currently the caretaker to my Adult son 40m. I get paid by the state to take care of him. So I need to be completely honest. I took him in so he could recover from some surgeries and found out I could qualify to be his caregiver because recovery took so long. I wanted to help him because he’s my son and I love him but there was a chance of being paid to take care of him so I took it. He asked me not to as he had caregivers before and said it got ugly between them. But I desperately needed the money.
So I was approved. And became his state appointed caregiver and he really didn’t have much of a choice because and I will admit this is the only part I feel i did any wrong but I basically told him this happens or he can find somewhere else to live. So he came around to the idea and I started making an income. It was great for awhile but then my Son was approached by his caseworker and told he qualified for more hours. He became depressed and asked if the new hours could possibly be used for some of his expenses. I at first aggreged so he would try for the hours and after he was approved I thought it though a second time and decided that giving him money was against the rules and kept the extra income which was a good send for household expenses
Now we come today he asked for a small amount of money for a need and I was annoyed. He uses weed Cartridges (We’re in a legal state) for pain and was out and wanted me to foot the bill and support his habit. This is because he hates taking opioid painkillers but I cant support his habbit too. So he lost his temper. Said Im an AH for ruining his life and stealing his "earning potential" that he can never enter the workforce again because of what he told drs and caseworkers and that I stole his life from him. I threatened to kick him out but I really cant lose the income he brings in. It would destroy me financially at the same time I cant give him what he’s asking for because its against the rules to use my income on him. So reddit AITA for this?
YTA: this is financial abuse. You made your son dependent on you for income and won’t allow him pain relief? You don’t care about the rules, you just want to milk him like a cow. No one is going to come after you for buying your adult son a weed cart. Be real.
YTA and I hope your son reports you.
YTA and that’s not a big enough word. I’m speechless at your greed, callousness, selfishness and utter disregard for your son. If I wrote what I really think about you here, I’d probably be banned
It’s amazing the things people will admit to on the internet. YTA, and the A stands for abuser.
yta- you clearly never had any good intent behind becoming his care giver. you went straight against his wishes and became his care giver for a selfish reason and then when he needed help with his expenses you said no? you should have rejected the extra hours because you knew that you weren’t going to give him the extra money off the bat. and then calling weed his “addiction” when he is ACTIVELY recovering from surgery and not taking opioids?
YTA WTF did I just read this is actually so sick. Are you even doing any caregiving or just using your sick / disabled son as a cash cow??
You aren’t letting him work because you want to money but you also won’t let him have access to the money you’re getting for free from HIS medical issues. Get a job and stop being a leech on your son / the taxpayer.
“I’m exploiting my sons illness for income”
YTA. A giant one.
YTA for being greedy
YTA you are not only financially abusing your son, you are straight up abusing him by denying him pain relief for the condition that you are actively benefiting from him suffering. This behaviour is truly sickening. How do you sleep at night?
YTA big time. He is not addicted and doesn’t have a habit. He uses medical marijuana to manage pain. He’s not taking opioid based painkillers for his reasons and also as he’s more likely to get addicted to them causing further issues. Carers allowance isn’t a wage for you. It’s to cover expenses for the person you’re caring for!!! You’re a major f***king arsehole.
YTA I really hope he tells his caseworker and they get him out of your abusing clutches
YTA, this is literally financial abuse. I hope someone can find who you are and report you to APS.
Isn’t this like illegal in anyway, how should you even be aloud to take care of him. Seems like you dont even love/like your son, just think of him as a pay cheque. Wish there was a way to report you to some place, threatening to kick him out because you cant have money thats supposed to go to him. What a dreadful person you must be. Marijuana used medically is way better then opioids. Acting like you’re worried about him being addicted to weed but would rather him take opioids. So many people after they cant get a prescription anymore just run straight to heroine or fent.
You’re not only a terrible care giver, but also a terrible mother. You dont deserve to have any children. What has to be wrong in your head to think any of what you’re doing is ok.
Wow. I hope to god this is some sort of story or something but it doesn’t feel like it. In the end of your post you don’t even have any level of empathy or respect towards how you’ve impacted his life; merely worried about his income disappearing with him if YOU kick him out by your terms.
Do you even have the ability to acknowledge the fact that you’ve literally applied to be his caregiver to the government whilst threatening to kick him out over petty dispute, how egregious and all around fucked up that is?
It doesn’t even have anything to do with him, you’re upset he’s asking you to use the state appointed money that’s supposed to be used to take care of him, to take care of him 🤣
Y
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A