I (20f) am currently in uni, living in an apartment with my sister.
I’ve been very serious about university, studying and getting ready for labs. I’ve got my routine down to the detail. And every part of it, each week, is centered around my labs on Tuesday.
They’re the most stressful but at the same time most rewarding part of being uni. Part of which, you have to study the experiment before and be graded in person during an oral examination.some professors are usually kind and patient.
Then there’s this one guy, who’s the devil incarnate. My last lab for this semester is on Tuesday, and his experiment is a 20 page word document (the biggest one of all so far), filled to the brim with theory. I’ve been adamant about this upcoming exercise for at least the past month.
Parents called to ask about coming into town this weekend, on our apartment. It’s relatively big, though not enough to house them and my siblings. I got dizzy at the thought. I have to study and finish my report, which would take me all weekend long and Monday too to get it over with.
I tried to be polite and let them know of my situation, but it got awkward really fast. I was adamant about missing them, because I do. And saying whether next weekend would be good for them because of my labs. They started talking about having put off some of their things already for the weekend so that they could come. And that’s where I got a bit upset albeit still calm.
I told them they should have spoken to me first, since I’m the one who’s going to get derailed, and they should have asked at least a couple days prior to let me know of them coming to town. It’s *my* studying and life that is going to get uprooted.
Hearing all the commotion my sister comes and joins the conversation. They had told her a few minutes prior, and after hearing that I didn’t want them to come this weekend she blew up on me, saying they wouldn’t cause any trouble and I was blowing things out of proportion.
Every time I come back home it’s the same old mess. Fighting, yelling and a complete invasion of everyone’s privacy. I don’t want my studying getting uprooted and I barely would want it anyway.
I didn’t say that, I only said I have so much work to be done, She started yelling at me how I can just do everything at the last moment like I’ve always done (a low blow because my first semester was such a low time in my life after I started trying to catch up with everything). My parents hung up the phone on me. Now I’m sitting here alone, just trying to put my shit together so I can write the damn report but I can’t because my mind is in a flurry.
My sister yelled at me for being mean and hateful for not wanting our family here, and that it shouldn’t be on me because she lives here too.
AITA?
NTA
Presumably your family wants you to succeed at school. It is vitally important that you are prepared for this lab.
Parents sprung a visit with the family on you at the last minute that will inevitably disturb your studying. You offered another date, which they declined.
Sister is out of line. The issue is not whether you miss your family, it’s that you don’t want them to visit *on three specific days*. Ironic that she doesn’t see that *she* is the one blowing this out of proportion.
“Family, I cannot host you on those three days. You should check with me before you make plans.”