I (F20s) recently moved into a furnished studio apartment in the Caribbean. My husband is a co-tenant on the lease but is currently working abroad, so I am here alone most of the time. I work from home and have a very strict schedule.
The Conflict: Since I moved in, my landlord (let’s call him J) has been pushing for a "mandatory" monthly maid service. When I checked my lease, it says he pays for a maid, but it never says I am required to let her in. When I questioned him, J admitted it was an "oversight" and not actually in the contract. I later found out the "maid" is actually his aunt. I feel like this is a "spy mission" to check up on me because he keeps telling me stories about how the "last tenants broke a light switch."
Because I refused the maid, J now insists on coming in personally every month for "inspections." I told him that was fine, but since my husband is on the lease and pays the rent, I requested that J include him in our group chat and all discussions.
J has been completely ignoring my messages about my husband. He won’t reply to him in the group chat and only tries to message me privately. He also has his read receipts off, so I never know if he’s seen my concerns about the broken washing machine (which hasn’t worked right since day one).
Where I might be the asshole: J is coming over this Thursday to "inspect" the place. I’ve decided to have my husband on a permanent video call the entire time J is in my house so he can’t corner me or ignore my husband’s presence. I also have a security camera running inside the apartment because I’m nervous he’s going to go through my personal drawers (where my underwear/clothes are) under the guise of "checking the furniture."
I feel like I’m being "difficult" by refusing the help of a maid and forcing a video call, but I also feel like my privacy is being invaded.
AITA for setting these boundaries when the landlord claims he’s just "protecting his property"?
You need legal advice.
NTA. I don’t know about the laws in the Caribbean, but I’d be looking for a new place to live.
Are the mandatory inspections listed in the contract? If not, you can probably just refuse. It does seem like he is up to something and were it me, I would get out as soon as possible.
Be sure to follow him during his “inspection” and verify afterward that he did not install a camera somewhere in the flat!
NTA but I think you will find it difficult to find anyone on reddit with knowledge of the “standard” rules for rentals in the Caribbean. FWIW, I think “monthly” inspections is too much, but without knowing what’s normal, that’s nothing more than an opinion. I would definitely have the visit recorded. But I would also be looking to see if I could get out of the lease – a “broken light switch” is hardly major vandalism. He is seriously over-reacting if that even is the truth
NTA – nothing with protecting yourself. If this was my wife, I’d pay for her to stay in the hotel and get a new place. He sounds creepy and dangerous
NTA. My girl…..go right down to Department of Housing. They have laws you can enforce and will tell you what the landlord can and cannot do. Straight the man is a f\*\*king CREEP….and he’s trying to catch you off guard, especially with your husband being miles away.
If I were you I would make record of all of this, including video calls and voice recordings between the two of you (get another phone so you can also have your husband present on the phone at the same time).
Present all of this as evidence for SEXUAL HARASSMENT……Last time I checked the landlords only need to inspect once every 6 months minimum.
AH DRANCO DAT! Protect yourself and hopefully you can move out soon. This landlord too renk and outtada.
yall might have to find a new place. this dudes being weird!!
NTA. The landlord’s behavior is outrageous. He has no right to prowl through the apartment. Film his tour and retain that recording. Object strongly and vocally to any behavior you find unacceptable, such as trying to rummage through your dresser. If you have one or more friends available to participate, all the better. And move out ASAP if you can.
You are not being an a-hole in turning on cameras when LL shows up. If you don’t have another human with you, a camera is a useful backup.
LL’s behavior is on the creep side. I wouldn’t want to be alone with LL anywhere. I wouldn’t trust him to stay out if I’d just left to go run an errand – I suspect he’ll go snoop around. His insisting on coming in to do a monthly “check” is not a good sign. A “broken light switch” doesn’t merit this much attention – that’s a dickee doo fix.
Having the aunt come in as a “maid” is just another way of the family collecting money.
How soon can you move? What are the laws like in the country where you’re renting? Can you break the lease easily?
This LL just isn’t acting like a safe person.
NTA.
If I were you, I would speak to a lawyer familiar with tenant laws where you are located.
NTA. You aren’t being difficult; you are protecting your privacy and safety. Since the maid isn’t in the lease and your landlord is intentionally bypassing your co-tenant husband, your boundaries are completely reasonable. Using a video call and a camera ensures accountability and keeps the relationship professional rather than intrusive.
Anytime he sends you a text outside of the group with your husband, make a screen shot and put it in the chat that includes your husband and respond that way. Every.Single.Time. Never respond just from you, even if it is to tell him to stop. He’ll have to eventually give up trying to contact you alone. And definitely do a video call anytime he is around. If he knocks on your door, before you open it start a video call — if your husband isn’t available loop in a relative. He could be harmless but who knows. I would also wedge a chair under the doorknob when you are alone and especially when you will be showering, dressing or sleeping since he obviously has a key.
Love the screenshot and reply in the group idea!