Hi, so usualy the post here talk about conflict of some sort, in this case, its more about me avoiding a situation i would have disliked and i can’t tell if i did good or not. This is also 2 or 3 years old, but as i’m curious, i’m posting it here.
So, i was (26M) and my half brother, (46M) couldent find an apprentice place for my nephew (M16). So he told me to ask my boss if they take any.
I dont recall his situation at all, my nephew had trouble following at school, and my brother was looking for any kind of apprentice, but i know he didnt studied my field, being metalwork, so he was probably in a general school of some sort ?
but anyway, what matter is what comes next, i couldent bring myself to ask this to my boss, because i knew i would hate this situation on different levels. And i knew if i told him that i wasnt comfy with my nephew being with me, my brother could take it badly.
the reason i didnt even ask my boss are the following:
\- i didnt like merging work with family stuff.
my coworker are some, a bit asshole and sometime make fun of me ( i dont like going out, never have sex, look gay and for them its wierd or not a life ), and i felt very uncomfy bringing my nephew here, i didnt want him to laugh at me for whanever reason, i dont care if its a coworker i dont give a crap, but i didnt want a family members in that situation. I didnt wanted to be seen working by a family member on a daily basis, it just sounded so stressing to me
\- Feeling obligated to look over him
this is not written anywhere, but as a family members, i felt that if he joined i’d have the duty to look over him a lot and take care, i was very often booked with loads of work to do, and i felt feeling like watching over him would added stress to my sometime anxiety/stress
\- losing my time.
my brother didnt said a thing, but i knew. if he was taken, who would have to drive him to work everyday? well, me, between 15/20 mins every travel, so arround 30 to 40 mins more each day of my time gone. I already have 5 hours at home, counting shower, food etc. I wanted to keep my time intact.
so to sum it up, it all felt like many malus and stress adding situation, so i lied and told my brother they dont take apprentice.
I felt like it wasnt my duty to find him work..
anyway, good day to the readers, i was curious about this old situation.
for those curious, i dont know what my nephew does now, i only get calls from my brother when he need something, so i dont know anything about that as otherwise, we both mind our own life.
NAH. Your brother asked. You didn’t want to. You told a lie that allowed everyone to walk away feeling okay. People tell social lies all the time. Not all lying is bad. You need to let this go. Live your life the way you want to. Not according to others standards.
NTA – nepotism sucks. Your brother was trying to use your situation to land his “unemployable kid” a job. If your nephew really wanted a job, he’d connect with the owner at your job, by himself and ask himself – without letting on that he knew you.
Half brother trying to use your reputation to get something – nah.
I personally don’t make recommendations about other people. It can get messy so fast and if they turn out to be a bad hire, it’s my name on the line. NTA.