I know it’s gonna sound petty, but it is what is is 🤷♂️
My girlfriend & I (both aged 26) are together since college. Last Friday night, we went to party at our mutual friend’s house.
It was the first time going to a party together since we started living under one roof. Just when we got ready, she handed me a big laptop-sized cloth bag with a pair of sandals in it, asking me to keep it with me the whole time, as most probably she will use them after the party is over, mentioning that pointed heels are exhausting.
My nature: I’m not a fan of keeping things with me outside, even if it’s an easily replaceable item. Also, I was going to a place to have fun, not in mood to handle someone’s stuff all the time. everybody knows what happens there. It’s understandable if she gives me something to carry when we’re on a vacation, picnic, or some place like that. So I told her no and offered her some ideas, including (1) It’s not necessary to wear heels, Sandals suit her anyway (2) She can carry sandals in her tote bag. But she said it will be awkward to carry a tote bag at a party, I told that making me carry the cloth bag is awkward too, and since it’s her sandals, she should be carrying them.
She got annoyed at that point, left the sandals at home, returned in heals only, and has been acting moody since then, passive-comparing me with husbands/boyfriends of her besties. AITA
NTA. She can carry her own damn bag if having it is so important to her.
NTA
If you weren’t there, she’d be carrying her own sandals anyway. You’re a human being, not a walking coat rack. Your other options were totally valid – like why is she wearing pointy heels to a party at a friend’s house when they hurt her feet, why not just wear the sandals or something more comfortable? She’s hurting her own feelings by putting herself in that situation.
I don’t get the logic of wearing pointy heels.
Like honestly, I don’t think most people care. I later noticed about how many ladies at that place were wearing high heals, and it was less than half.
Sometimes it’s simply fun and makes you feel good! I don’t wear heels often but can quite enjoy it when really dressing up.
But the correct approaches to “I want to wear heels for part of this event but know I’ll eventually be tired of wearing them” are 1) have a secondary pair of shoes in the car / a bag you can put down in a corner somewhere, 2) go barefoot for a bit if the heels get too much, 3) if neither of those are options choose to wear more comfortable shoes.
It isn’t “insist my partner carry a bag with my other pair of shoes the entire event”. If you already had something you were carrying that would fit them, sure, asking to stow a back up pair in there would be fine, but what she asked for was ridiculous.
Why is there a need to keep it at all time? Can’t you carry it to the house, and then drop it in a room or cloakroom and get i when needed? I agree with you, it sounds petty.
NTA–why can’t *she* carry the tote bag? Honestly, this kind of thing infuriates me.
NTA- she is acting incredibly entitled
Maybe she was testing you. this is ridiculous. Why can’t she carry the bag if it’s nothing if it won’t ruin your time at the party why can’t she do it? It sounds like she wanted you to prove your devotion to her. you’re not her shoe caddy. I’m pissed off on your behalf.
There were some TikTok’s a few months back on men carrying slippers/sandals for their girl. Stupid people would jump on something like this and turn it into a test.
Don’t these people know that relationships are hard enough without making up stupid tests?
NTA – why are you obligated to carry her extra shoes? She wants to bring sandals, she carries them.
NTA It’s her choice to wear heels and her choice to bring sandals, so she can lug around the consequences of her choice. And neither of you actually have to carry these around. Unless your friends are of low character and would steal them (making this an entirely different conversation), then you could have just stashed them in the coat closet and picked them up later. There is zero reason to carry sandals around at a private party.
NTA She can bring sandals and just…. put them down when she arrives. Why do they need to be held like they are going to run away?
Seems like one of those silly “relationship tests” that pop up on social media.
Presumably there would have been a place to store the sandals during the party right?