I’ve been a history buff my whole life, majored in it in college, and even volunteer at a local museum giving tours. my cousin (17) is struggling in her AP History class and asked me for help a couple months ago. I agreed because she’s family and we’ve been doing weekly sessions.
She mixes up dates and events constantly, which is fine for a beginner, but every time i gently point it out in a calm tone like "actually the Treaty of Versailles was 1919, not 1945," she explodes. Yells that I’m "nitpicking," and calls the class emotionally and mentally draining and most times storms off saying she hates history because of me. Last session, she claimed Pearl Harbor started the WWII for America in 1995, i corrected her and she screamed, threw her notebook and told me to "stop acting like a know it all teacher."
I could not take it anymore and told her straight up to stop been an emotional teenager and throwing tantrums at me when I’m only trying to help her, i also told her until she can handle basic corrections without yelling or stomping out of sessions, I’m done tutoring and she can study on her own, but I’m not wasting my time getting screamed at for helping.
She’s now telling our family I’m abandoning her right before exams and being a jerk for not being more encouraging. Her mom (my aunt) faulted me for giving up on a kid who is stressed. Now I’m second guessing if i was too blunt, maybe i overreacted to normal teen frustration.
So AITA?
NTA. Your cousin has a lot of growing up to do. Doubt she belongs in AP history, or in high school, really.
i felt a lot of guilt after, but she has got to learn emotional regulation
NTA if she can’t handle the fact that you are right, then why should you waste your time?
NTA. As you describe it anyway, she can’t accept minimal correction concerning smple facts. As a teacher, I’ve seen this attitude in action. The aunt will take her daughter’s side. Surprise! (How do you think the daughter got to be this way?) You can’t win except to exit.
NTA. Because if you didn’t correct her, you’d be blamed when she failed her exams. You’re in a lose-lose situation.
And that is not a normal teen frustration. There is no way she should be in AP history if she thinks WWII was in 1995. Something else is going on, but you don’t need to be in the middle of it.
i did my part and until she learns emotional regulation, i am not been a part of it anymore.
NTA – she’s young and being a brat, which young people do. She can apologize and act appropriately to resume, but you aren’t helping her out to be berated
If you say Pearl Harbor, and even add in ww2, and she says 1995, then she either has a huge learning disability that has gone unnoticed for over a decade, or she is purposefully tanking this. Now you just have to figure out why. NTA
Why is she in AP History? History involves a lot of facts, dates, places. And AP History even more so. The entire exam is detail oriented. She won’t pass if she doesn’t want to (or can’t) apply herself. Maybe history is not the right subject for her. Or, if she has a genuine problem with numbers and years, something else is going on. How does she do in math?
Anyhow, NTA. You know you will be blamed when she tanks the multiple-choice part of the exam.
How the hell did she get into an AP History class?
NTA
NTA
That is not “normal teen frustration.”
“Normal teen frustration” involves groaning, maybe a a bit of venting, maybe even a bit of crying.
But not screaming, throwing things, and insulting the tutor. That’s more like toddler frustration, the frustration of someone who doesn’t know how to handle their own emotions.
How tf did she even get into ap history to begin with if she thinks ww2 was in 1995??
“And then colonel muster led the troops in 1922”
“Wow such a good job!”
“Really?”
“No! But I can’t correct you because you’ll yell at me! 🙃”
But in all seriousness, NTA. Being a teenager does not excuse verbal abuse
NTA – I can understand the Treaty of Versailles confusion since there’s a dozen of those. But, uhh, WW2 and Pearl Harbor in 1995? no