I’ve (32F) been an ER nurse for 10 years. It’s a chaotic, high-stress environment, and we rely heavily on our "pod" partners to have our backs. On my shift last night, I was paired with "Maria" (29F).
About midway through the shift, we got slammed. I had a potential stroke code in one room and a messy trauma coming in. Maria came up to me and said, "Hey, can you watch my three rooms for like 20 minutes? My kids are having a crisis with the sitter and I need to FaceTime them to calm them down."
I asked if it was a medical emergency. She said, "No, they’re just crying and won’t go to bed, and they only want their mom."
I told her, "Maria, I’m literally drowning here. I can’t safely monitor my patients AND yours right now. You need to ask the Charge Nurse for help or wait until we have a lull."
She got really upset and said, "You’re always so clinical. You don’t have kids, so you don’t understand that my family comes before this job. It’s just 20 minutes." She ended up disappearing anyway for about 15 minutes to take the call. I had to scramble to make sure her patients didn’t crash while I was dealing with my own.
I ended up mentioning it to the Charge Nurse because it was a safety issue. Maria got a verbal warning. Now, she’s telling everyone I’m "anti-family" and "cold-hearted" because I wouldn’t help a mother in distress. Some of the other staff are saying I should have just "sucked it up" for the sake of the team and that since I don’t have kids waiting for me, I should be more flexible.
I feel like a jerk because I know she’s stressed, but in the ER, 20 minutes is a lifetime. AITA?
I abhor when women with children think they are superior to women without children. There was no medical emergency at home. Her whiny kids and babysitter can deal with their own shit while she is supposed to be keeping patients safe. NTA.
I agree with everything you just said. I would add, as a patient I would be so angry if I overheard this conversation. This is a safety issue. OP has a stroke alert and a trauma alert, and was expected to oversee this chicks pts on top of that. That is not safe for any of those pts. I am glad she got a verbal warning, but honestly this should be documented and she should be written up, if nothing else, to cover the hospital’s butt when a sentinel event inevitably happens.
NTA
Maria needs to get her priorities aligned with the job she has. And if she doesn’t, she needs to be relieved of her job, in order to avoid patient safety issues.
Nta Id report her to hr for work place bullying and harassment and for job abandonment and creating a hostile work environment.
Nta, snd I say that as a mother as well
Given the job you are both doing, she needs to have it established within her family that they can only contact her in emergencies, otherwise she phones them when she can.
NTA “Family comes before the job” AND IT’S LITERALLY PEOPLE’S LIVES??? I’d demand to never be paired with that lady again.
That’s a great demand to make during the immediate meeting that needs to happen with HR and her supervisors. Mommy dearest is creating a hostile work environment and opening the hospital up to lawsuits. What if one of the patients had died?
NTA. Maria should not be a nurse. Her whining children are not a priority over actual LIVES. People are going to die because of her selfishness, apathy, and incompetence – if they haven’t already.
NTA. She could have cost someone their life. Her kids weren’t dying but in the ER people are. All those who were saying “suck it up” wouldn’t like if it was their family members dying and getting less attention than is required.
NTA, you’re not covering for a cashier or even an office job, it’s literal life/death and if she can’t read the situation and prioritize patient safety she probably doesn’t actually belong there. She can go be a nurse in a less intense field.
NTA. She would risk someone dying because her kids are crying and she needs to FaceTime them? That’s very troubling. I don’t think she is in the right field of work
Let me get this right – She actually left her job and her critical patients with no support so she could chat with her children and then blamed you for bad behaviour? Who cares if she was stressed? She deserved more than a warning. And since when are her children the centre of the universe? This motherhood entitled elitist should have been sacked.
NTA – This is what I like to remind people is: Urgent but not an emergency. Uncomfortable, but not dangerous. Important, but not life threatening.
You were dealing with people having urgent emergencies. uncomfortably dangerous, and important life threatening situations. That co-worker earned the verbal warning.
“You’re always so clinical” girl you are literally working in a clinic