I (38M) work at a small office about 20 minutes from where I live. A few months ago a newer coworker (mid 20s F) mentioned that her car was in the shop and she was struggling to find rides home after work. We happen to live in the same general direction, so I offered to give her a ride a couple times until her car was fixed.
At first it was totally fine. She was grateful and it didn’t really add much time to my commute. But after the first week her car was supposedly still “being worked on,” and she kept asking if I could drive her home. I didn’t mind helping for a bit longer, but it started becoming an everyday thing.
The bigger issue is that she doesn’t actually live on my way home. It’s about a 15 minute detour each way, which turns my 20 minute drive into almost an hour round trip. On top of that, she started assuming I would take her home and would wait by my desk at the end of the day without asking first.
Last week I told her that I wouldn’t be able to keep giving rides regularly anymore because the extra time was starting to add up, especially after a long day of work. I said I was happy to help in an emergency, but I couldn’t keep doing it daily.
She seemed annoyed and said she thought we had “worked out a system.” A couple coworkers later told me she mentioned that I “left her stranded,” which I feel is unfair since I gave her rides for several weeks and never agreed to make it permanent.
Now I’m wondering if I handled it badly. Part of me feels like I should have just kept helping, but another part of me feels like it was becoming an expectation rather than a favor.
AITA for refusing to keep giving my coworker rides home?
NTA. Was she even contributing to your petrol costs? These kinds of things always get out of hand and I bet her car is just fine now.
She never offered.
So she’s a mooch . An entitled one at that . Just figured a princess like herself should just be served. NTA . You have a family to take care of , why should you be subsidising a grown ass woman’s transportation? Watch your back though. These type of manipulators don’t like it when things don’t go their way. The fact that she started bad mouthing you instead of being extremely grateful…. The audacity.
NTA. Was she at least offering gas money?
She never did.
NTA – I had someone who did this to me at work, people thought I was a prick but oh well. Its time consuming and I like my commute to be alone to make calls, listen to music loud, etc. She can find alternative ways home.
There is a thing called public transport. She should try it sometimes. Or suggest her someone who leave on her way. Tell her driving her home is an inconvenience for you, if she feels bad and offended then she should make arrangements to repair her car asap
NTA-asking somebody for a ride for several weeks and not offering compensation for the gas and mileage/wear and tear is kind of rude on your coworkers part.
NTA, especially once she stopped asking and just assumed you would take her. Hard pass.
So not only were you going out of your way to help her, she had the audacity to lie and say you stranded her? Hell nah. My ass would have walked right to her desk and asked her when did I leave her stranded.
I think you showed a lot of grace to an entitled person.
What was the system? You chauffeur, she rides? NTA.
How exactly did you “work out a system” when you were expected by a very entitled individual, to go out of your way everyday for her benefit? What did she contribute?
In this “system” what was she doing for you? I must have missed it