AITA? My and my friend who we’ll call Ava have been friends for just over a year now we’re super close and hang out all the time recently she’s been asking me to hang out with 2 of her friends who we’ll call John and Ryan,I agreed and have hung out with them 3/4 times in the last week John I’ve known since primary school and he’s chill super nice but the issue arises mainly with Ryan. Ryan just doesn’t seem to care for boundaries even for little things like the fact he often stands close behind me and reading my phone even after I told him I was uncomfortable and asked him to stop he still he continues,I brought this up to Ava privately and she said apparently Ryan has a thing for me. And honestly I just don’t know what to do because I don’t like him at all and both of the guys give me freak vibes. I told Ava I wasn’t going ti hang out with them anymore and she got ?really upset AITA?
NTA. He has no respect for boundaries and is giving you the creeps. Your gut is correct.
Info: What are the ages here? Ryan is an a-hole no matter what but whether Ava is depends on if you guys are teenagers or adults. Either way, you’re NTA.
My fear would be if Ava likes John & Ryan is his friend, she could have essentially been told she needs to come up with a gf for Ryan to get any time/attention from John. And considering his lack of respecting boundaries and a clear “no”, I would not feel safe in that scenario.
End of the day, you’ve only known Ava a year so even if this tanks the friendship (it shouldn’t & if it does, it’ll show you Ava was never the friend you thought she was) it’s not the end of the world.
She says they’ve hung out 3 or 4 times this week. They’re kids. No adult I know has time for this, literally OR figuratively.
Me and Ava are 16 John is 17 and Ryan is about to be 18
NTA – always trust your gut. If your gut is telling you that something is a bit off about this guy please believe it.
This is the correct answer. We have literal “gut instinct” for a reason.
Listen to it.
Obvious NTA. Ryan is a creep and I wouldn’t want to be around him either. You never read someone’s phone. Just explain to her that those two are her friends and not yours and you’d like to keep it that way. If she gets upset, well then she isn’t much of a friend
1st time: ‘Do you mind not looking at my phone?’
2nd time: ‘Hey, man! Fuck off!’
Stand up for yourself. NTA but all these people sound exhausting and not worth it. Read a book or something.
NTA your gut is right. Avoid them and if Ava doesn’t understand she’s not a friend worth having. I think she wants to essentially “give” you to Ryan because he likes you. Not sure if she likes John or what but do not be alone with them. I’d borderline even go so far as to say don’t even drink anything they give you. And I include Ava in this.
NTA. If you’re not comfortable hanging out with them, you don’t have to do so. Ava is only thinking of herself at this point when she should be considering your own feelings as well.
NTA. If you’re uncomfortable with his behaviour you do not need to put up with it so your friend (and I use that term loosely if shes going to get mad at you about this) can hang out with a boy who – I’m guessing – she wants to hook up with.
If you do end up continuing to hang out with them to appease your mate (which I don’t recommend if you arent comfortable with either of them) maybe address his behaviour with John and tell him to make his friend back off because you aren’t interested in him in that way and his behaviour is going to be a major turn off to any person who he may be interested in in the future. If Ryan continues to behave in that way after that then be very vocal by first asking him to back up and give you space. If he doesn’t listen tell him to back up and fuck off. If you dont feel safe to do that then do not and I repeat do not hang out with them. Never hang out with people who you don’t feel safe to ask to respect you and your personal space. It never ends well.
Nope, NTA. Don’t hang out with these guys that creep you out because your friend is pressuring you.
NTA – you can hang out with whoever you want and Ava is not a good friend if she can’t accept that Ryan makes you uncomfortable. If she’s really your friend she would understand.
NTA.
She’s not a good friend. Stop seeing her and them.
She’s the kind of friend that will look the other way if he decides to touch you inappropriately or hurt you.
She wants to hang out with you more because Ryan wants to hang out with you. If he wasn’t interested she wouldn’t be either. She’s not a girls girl, I don’t mean she values girls more I mean she won’t look out for you in bad situations or have your back.
If the situation was reversed would you make her hang out with friends that made her uncomfortable?
Please keep your distance from her. And just assume that she’s enough of a pick me to consider facilitate sexual assault. Because this has happened to a someone I knew at uni.