Me and my sister have just gotten $4.5k each for our 18th that have been saved up for us since birth. I’m insanely grateful as I don’t have a way to make money yet and have never received any kind of „pocket money“ (if you can call it that).
However my parents plan on spending the majority (≈4k) on my drivers license. My drivers license which I have been promised to get for free. They’ve always told me that they‘d pay it for me.
My sister can spend that money to her hearts content because she legally isn’t allowed to drive. I personally think it’s unfair she gets it in full and I‘m going to have around $500 left to spend. Don’t get me wrong, that is quite some money but my sister has 9 times the amount.
I‘m pissed that my parents are not keeping their promise, using my money to buy my drivers license when I originally wouldn’t have to pay at all. They might as well just not give me the savings at all and only my sister.
In addition, my sister is also cheaper than I. She doesn’t have hobbies, no school she needs to buy supplies for nor does she ever want anything. There are more more important reasons but they’re a little too personal for me.
While I already talked to my parents (they called me unreasonable) I want to know whether this really makes me ungrateful and an asshole.
Edit: I live in Germany. Drivers licenses are more expensive than you think.
What kind of drivers license costs 4k?
The $4,500 must either include driving lessons, or be in a country with high licence fees to dissuade driving.
My word. Where do you live that a licence costs you over $4k?
Europe or Asia.
If a driver’s license cost $4,000, then you would bet your ass that I would be grateful that my parents paid for that. Technically, you *are* getting it for free, and you’re also getting $500 to spend on whatever you want.
I understand that it can be frustrating to see your sister use her full amount on whatever she wants, but you’re also kinda doing the same thing. You want the license, you’re spending your money on the license. She doesn’t want a license, so she’s free to spend it on other stuff. With that being said, YTA, mainly because I can’t believe that any driver’s license would cost $4k to begin with.
the average cost of getting a drivers license in the Netherlands is €3271 or about $4000 source: [https://www.cbr.nl/nl/rijbewijs-halen/auto/wat-kost-het-halen-van-een-autorijbewijs](https://www.cbr.nl/nl/rijbewijs-halen/auto/wat-kost-het-halen-van-een-autorijbewijs) so the cost sounds completely reasonable. Practice permits dont exist in the EU. Some countries are a little cheaper others more expensive.
SO’s sisters money should be also spent on something mandatory like a study so I tend to say NTA but on the other hand the parents are not that wrong.
INFO: Why isn’t your sister legally allowed to drive?
A lot of people are hung up on the 4k license. The op is most likely from the EU. Especially since they wrote 4.500 instead of 4,500. In the EU, it costs a lot. You have to take lessons through a school. For example, it’s a few thousand euros in Germany and frequently a large present from parents to children.
In any case, I totally understand why you’re upset about this. I think part of it is age. I think with some life experience, you’ll see that while life is unfair, your parents have seemingly treated you pretty fairly. It hurts to be told that something would be paid for and now it may seem like it’s not. I have to go with yta though because you are getting something out of this. And for all your justifications, it can be flipped on you by saying your sister receives less money than you because she doesn’t have expensive hobbies etc.
Gonna disagree here. NTA, what your parents did sucks. Lead you to believe that you were getting a free license, but surprise, this gift were giving you is actually paying for it. Your sister gets to keep the whole gift but hey hahaha we still gave it to you. Asshole move on your parents part. People are gonna call you entitled, but I think that’s bullshit. Does not matter if its 10 dollars or ten million dollars. Someone telling you something, then changing the terms of the deal, is still an asshole. If they would have been upfront with you about it, instead they tried to make it something it was not.
This is also my reasoning, like if it was presented to them as a cash gift separate from the license then it’s kind of a sham to say ‘well actually we’re taking most of the gift to pay for your license like we said we would’
I’m going to against the grain here and say NTA. My reasoning is that I’m guessing you’re twins and your parents saved that money for both of you to give you a boost as you start adulthood, possibly heading to uni. When they started saving I doubt they knew your sister wouldn’t be getting a license. Maybe they did. I don’t know. I’m a mom of twins a few years older than you. I didn’t give them a cash amount like that, but I bought them a car to share since they were going to college together. I would always make it equitable and I think you have every reason to expect that from your parents unless they really can’t afford it. Maybe you could discuss it and split the cost or something.
I cant even wrap my head around $4K for a drivers license
Not every country is like the US, where you just pinkie promise the DMV that you will spend hours with a mature, responsible driver teaching you to drive.
Sorry but im going against people here and saying NTA.
How I see it is you and your twin are both given gifts of 4500 for your birthday. Your both grateful and happy. And then your parents turn around and say “Sorry we’re taking 4000 of that back and spending it on your drivers license.”
The way they presented it makes it seem very unfair. Honestly they should have given you each 500 and then either found something else comparable for your sister or given it to her at a later date for something else. Especially when it was seemingly implied that they were paying for your license before (which its not paying for it if its coming out of your own gift money) and that you said getting a license is required..?