About 6 years ago, I had a close group of friends I’d known for around 8 years. Around that time, I started smoking cigarettes. None of them smoked, and they made it very clear they didn’t like it.
At first it was comments and jokes, but it escalated. They told me they didn’t want to be around me if I kept smoking and said it showed I didn’t respect myself or them. I tried cutting back, but I didn’t quit completely. Eventually, they decided to cut me off entirely. No big fight, just “we can’t be friends anymore if this is who you are.” After that, we had no contact at all.
A few years passed. Out of nowhere, one of them reached out to me recently. He said he was going through a rough time and needed help with something important (housing/work-related). He said he knew we hadn’t talked in years but hoped I’d help because we “used to be close.”
I told him I wasn’t comfortable helping. I said it hurt that they were willing to end an 8-year friendship over my personal choices, but now wanted support when it benefited them. He said I was holding a grudge and that people grow up and change.
AITA?