I (20M) own a small café. My best friend (18M) and I are working on a short film together, and we had planned to talk about it at my café one evening. A few other friends who were going to help with the project were also planning to come later.
My best friend’s girlfriend (18F) was also there. (They were know dating for around two weeks.) The café was pretty busy, so I suggested we should probably talk about the film after closing time (around 11 p.m.).
Around 9 p.m., his girlfriend said she was tired and wanted to go home. I said that was fine, but she insisted that my best friend leave with her. He didn’t want to go because we were waiting for others to arrive and had already planned the meeting for later. After some back-and-forth, he eventually gave in and left with her.
I was annoyed because this messed up the plans that involved multiple people. When they were leaving, she tried to hug me goodbye. I refused and told her something along the lines of: “*No, just go. You got what you wanted, so don’t act all sweet now.*” I was clearly upset about the situation.
After they left, she apparently started crying because she felt like I was mad at her and said she doesn’t like when people are upset with her. The next day, my best friend called me and told me I need to apologize to her.
I understand that my response may have hurt her feelings, but I also feel like I’m being asked to apologize for reacting honestly after my plans were thrown off by her.
Am I the asshole?
NTA she sounds annoying and its only been two weeks. Seriously I am a sensitive girl too but you cant cry when people are upset at you when you genuinely made them upset. LIKE huh..This is what we call crocodile tears. You’re valid. Hope your friend realises and tells her she was in the wrong.
You’re all very young hence the high emotions but your bro is the one who needs to step up – he let everyone down by failing to stand up to her nonsense.
this right here!! everyone is focusing on how OP spoke to the gf but the real issue is that she bulldozed their friend and said friend gave in.
You’re 20 and own a Cafe?
Haha that was my first thought.
Sure sounds made up.
Yeah I called bs on that immediately.
I’m calling ages changed to hide who he is a bit. Short film could easily be swapped in for some other project too.
ESH
Whilst I understand that it was her that wanted him to leave, your friend was actually the one who wronged you here.
He was the one who made plans with you and your other friends. He was the one who decided to bring his gf. He then chose to leave with her instead of telling her “no” and honouring his commitment.
It’s your friend that you should be annoyed with. The gf sounds annoying sure, but she’s only a problem because he allowed her to be.
The friend could’ve even offered to drop her home and then come back..
People are funny.
NTA. You weren’t even mean. She could have left by herself. Instead she needed to have her way even though plans involving several people were already in place. Dumb of her to assume you *wouldn’t* be mad.
Though to be fair, you should be mad at the friend too. He chose to give in instead of telling her no.
NTA
“Waah, I upset you and did something wrong, now make ME feel better, waah!!!”
What a baby. Not only ruining other people plans simply because she was bored (or even worse – wanted to ascertain her dominance in the situation by forcing your friend to choose her over you) but also trying to shift the blame.
Pay attention to her and have some patience for your friend – if she plays this kind of games after only two weeks of “dating”, she’ll likely try to isolate your friend from the group
ESH. She sounds whiny and immature, however there are a few issues with you too.
-Your response was rude, and while she was the one who asked to go, your friend has free will so he could have said no.
-You said you had this encounter planned, but then you say “I suggested talking after closing time at 11pm”. So which one is it? Did you have it planned or did you come up with the time on the spot?
11pm is pretty late and if this was not priorly established, it was reasonable for her to ask to go home.
ESH
Your friend bailing on you guys makes him an asshole, her naggibg to make her bf go home with her when she knows he has plans makes her an asshole. And your reaction was way too much, so that makes you an asshole. Just a bad situation all around.