So the reason I put it cheating in quotes will become clear later in the story. I met someone on a video game while I was streaming, we were against each other but we ended up meeting and they reached out about being friends because they thought I was funny and chill. We became friends over the next few months and for the first time in like 5 or 6 years I ended up liking them more than a friend, and I told her and her bf that and we agreed to just no solo calls because its the only thing that he felt weird with doing, but long story short some stuff happened on her end with stuff near Christmas, with her family passing and stuff and then right as the new year started someone else in her family passed away.
I knew about it and we talked for awhile for the past few days and everything was fine then at some point things became sexual it never lead to nudes or anything of that sort but it probably would have if her phone didn’t die. I took full responsibility for that because it did honestly feel like I was taking advantage of her when she was already wanting away from everything this I know full well is my fault and I owned that and we decided to never talk about that stuff again so we don’t have that issue. Not even a week later I am in the "mood" and clearly told her that and was gonna go do my own thing and then they basically were egging me on to do stuff while texting them. I asked them several times to stop because we agreed to not do that stuff plus she was apparently "loyal" to. She didn’t and she basically made me do it even though I felt horrible about it and every time I tried to talk about this one I was told "I don’t wanna talk about it."
Keep in mind there was obviously the guilt of the first time still weighing on me and she knew this because I talked about it bothering me to the point I was stressed out everyday about it because I don’t like hiding stuff like that from people. It led me to a point where I wasn’t in a good mental space and it caused me to almost do stuff that I am not allowed to talk about on here just know she knew the entire time about my headspace during this time because it is important. A few days later everything is apparently back to normal and we are apparently good in her eyes so I start showing up again, which didn’t last long.
I ended up telling the bf all our stuff that happened between us with proof and everything. She apparently told him everything the entire time and he knew everything that was going on and just didn’t care? Well the way he worded it is like she told him half truths on it all. The main issue I had is that I was told to keep this secret when she already told him to the point it made me almost do stuff to myself.
TLDR for the rest basically everyone took her side and I was made out to be the crazy one even my friends of 3 years chose her side. Basically making my trust issues that were already bad even worse. So AITA? Because I feel we both fucked up with miscommunications.
NTA but dude this whole situation is messy as hell and you kinda walked right into it
She was playing both sides – telling you to keep it secret while apparently telling her bf the whole time? That’s manipulative af. You were upfront with everyone about your feelings from the start and tried to set boundaries multiple times
The fact that she kept pushing after you said no makes her the AH here, not you. Sorry your friends bailed on you over this drama but honestly sounds like they weren’t real ones anyway
Yea I was debating on making another whole one for my friends who apparently care but don’t show it lmao and she word for word said “I won’t forgive you if you tell him” even thought he apparently knew
Why dont you just cut them both off? There is nothing good coming from this “friendship” No need to continue its not healthy. Let them live their weird life and focus on yours.
Your all trash humans and whatever happened you deserved
NTA per se, but she is clearly playing you and your perception with half truths too.
If you think you can live well with this arrangement, do go on. But if it bothers you or makes you feel anything other than good, protect your feelings and walk away.
That’s basically what I did everyone chose her side anyway even my own closest friends
You and this person should not be friends. Oof
Esh
I legit even through all of this and all the pain I been though literally asked if she was okay. I have a major issue of putting others before myself and well yea
You can’t control what others do, you control what you do. If you feel she is goading you on, then you need to remove access to you from her.
Either her and her guy have some weird arrangement, or she is telling her guy a bunch of junk that isn’t good anyways, why would you want that?
This is one of those times where you can’t keep walking on broken glass and wondering why it hurts, or you can bandage yourself up and heal, and avoid the glass going forward.
The only reason I wanted to make it work is cuz my friends still play with them and basically always hang out with her and I just didn’t wanna make ppl have to choose who to play with.
ESH- you are the AH for engaging in the start even tho uk she had a bf. just let them be, as he doesnt really care, apparently.
The way he worded everything made it seem more like she didn’t tell him how it all went down too tho so it’s like idk