My coworker who sits at the desk next to mine came over yesterday morning to ask if he could borrow my expensive headphones for a few hours
He explained that he had a massive deadline and the office was particularly loud that day which was making it impossible for him to concentrate on his data entry
I told him no because I am very protective of my electronics and the ear pads are made of a soft material that I do not like other people touching or sweating on
I also told him that I paid a lot of money for them and I am worried about the internal components being handled by someone else
He became visibly frustrated and said that coworkers should help each other out when someone is struggling to get their work done on time
He pointed out that he has covered my desk tasks several times when I had to step out for personal errands and thought we had a supportive professional relationship
I feel like I might be the asshole because my refusal was based entirely on my own hygiene preferences and a fear of damage rather than any history of him being careless
I also watched him struggle to focus for the rest of the afternoon while he kept getting distracted by office noise while my headphones sat unused on my desk while I was in meetings
I know he is a responsible person and I probably damaged our good working rapport over a piece of plastic and foam that I could have easily shared for a short time
I am worried that I am being far too rigid with my possessions and that I am prioritizing a gadget over a person who has actually gone out of his way to help me stay on track with my job
However I still feel that personal electronics are private items and I have the right to decide exactly who gets to wear them and how they are handled
AITA
NTA. There’s really no discussion here. This is your personal property, not work property. You have no obligation to share personal items with co-workers.
NTA. To me this is almost like asking to wear your underwear. Headphones are very personal.
I’d let someone borrow my underwear, I just wouldn’t take them back.
You’re totally right! Plus the headphone was given to me as a gift and I wouldn’t want to rish the chances of it getting damaged!
I was curious so checked price on some of these headphones. $458 at Amazon. Geeze I wouldn’t lend them out either. People just think they are entitled to other peoples stuff.
It’s quite expensive and this came as a gift from my boyfriend.
I’ve left my headphones at home many times, and I could never imagine asking to borrow something that you either might sweat in or transfer ear wax.
I have no idea why you gave this guy such a long explanation. Simply “no” should’ve sufficed. If he pressed further, you tell him sharing headphones, which are close to your ears and touching your body, is like sharing a toothbrush in your mind. You’re weirded out by it. End of story.
NTA
NTA. Headphones are personal, and you don’t have to share them with anybody. Also, a person who accuses you of being a bad coworker for not sharing is the same sort of person who would act like *you* were the problem if he damaged your property and you expected payment. No thanks.
NTA Your concerns are valid. Certain things are inherently risky to share. Most people learn from a young age not to share hats, headphones, or drinks for a reason and besides the hygiene concerns the headphones were an expensive personal item. I’m sure no one would reasonably expect to borrow your phone so they shouldn’t expect to borrow expensive headphones either.
That’s a lot explanation when you could have just said, “I’m sorry, I’m in the same boat.”
NTA, especially if they go in your ears, it’s like borrowing a toothbrush. is he new?? he should know it gets loud and have even dollartree foam ear plugs…
NTA. Coworker didn’t bring headphones, that’s his fault, not yours. Covering desk for a few minutes here and there isn’t remotely the same as allowing someone else to wear your headphones, especially if they were expensive.
Also if he had a “massive deadline” you’d think he’d prepare for it better than apparently waiting until the last day. Presumably he’s also aware that the office can get loud. His poor planning isn’t your responsibility. Will he no longer cover your desk? Probably not.
YTA for your lack of punctuation.
You absolutely didn’t have to lend your headphones, but he doesn’t have to help you out when you ask for favors yourself. I’m sure he had a realization that just as your electronics are yours, so are your job duties. Don’t be surprised next time you have to run a personal errand and ask for help covering your tasks to be met with the same “no, your problems are not my responsibilities” that you answered him with.