I (30f) have a 6 month old baby. My sister (28f) been dating her fiancé for like 3 months only. I’ve met him few times before. Yesterday we were at a family BBQ. I was holding my baby, and he comes up, already kinda drunk, reaches out and i was like “pls don’t touch him he been fussy today”
He literally laughs and says loud “oh come on u overprotective. Babies cry u need to toughen him up” Then he tries to grab the baby while I was holding him. I step back and he keeps joking “stop being so paranoid, babies are easy, u just make it worse!” Everyone was like laughing nervously but i could tell they thought he was being rude. My sister didn’t do anything
I told my sister after the party he cant hold my baby at our house or at any family thing. She got super mad and says I overreacting and I cant control people
I feel like its about safety and respect not control
AITA?
He was drunk. NTA.
>*I cant control people*
You can certainly control who lays hands on your child.
Anybody tried that with me or my sister, my mom would’ve controlled ’em…
Up one side and down the other, she would’ve controlled ’em…!
Exactly this! You can and I’m sure you know, always control what people do around your child. NTA Your sister….
NTA. A drunk man should not be trusted to hold a baby, and the role of being your sister’s fiancé doesn’t mean much when he’s only been dating your sister for 3 months.
You did the right thing, and I wouldn’t trust him at future gatherings, either.
A man who had been drinking was trying to grab your baby away from you. Not only does he not get to hold the baby, I would refuse to be around him after that. He does not sound safe. NTA.
Trying to grab the baby from you whilst he’s under the influence is a terrible move. Absolutely NTA.
Saying he can never hold the baby in the future? I think you should never say “never” and see if he shows some repentance and behaviour adjustment first. But still NTA.
NTA. You may not be able to control people, but you have every right to decide who holds your baby. And it isn’t him.
You are NEVER the asshole for not letting somebody hold your baby, especially under these circumstances.
nta. also 3months and already fiance? yikes
edit: also as a parent you are never the asshole for stopping someone doing something harmful to your child. the whole myth that you need to let babies cry is awful. all it does is let your child know you will not be there for them. a drunk practically a stranger shitty sister’s bf is not a safe person to let a 3 month old be held by.
>She got super mad and says I overreacting and I cant control people
Where your family is concerned, especially your baby, you sure as hell *can* control people.
NTA. So your sister‘s half drunk, rude, disrespectful fiancé tries to grab your baby; then your sister does absolutely nothing to try to stop him. And she thinks you’re the asshole? There are a couple of assholes in this scene, but you definitely are not one of them.
P.S. If your sister goes through with the marriage to this arrogant know at all, I believe she will have buyers remorse before a year goes by.
NTA
Your sister is absolutely incorrect. You CAN control people who hold your baby.
NTA. Just because your sister decided to marry a stranger, doesn’t mean your baby (that is not a toy) can be trusted in his care.
I wouldn’t allow any unsupervised time with either of them because your sister will give him the baby just to prove a point now.
NTA And any time someone gives you shit about it, ask them “are you talking about the time he was drunk and tried to grab my baby from my arms?” Just over and over.