I (27F) got married last year. Spent ₹2.8 lakh on my dream bridal lehenga (Sabyasachi, custom blouse, real zari). Got it dry-cleaned and kept it sealed in my mum’s house because it’s the most expensive thing I own.
My cousin “Neha” (29F) is getting married in January. She’s been asking to “borrow” my lehenga for months. I kept saying no, it’s fitted only to me, sentimental, and insanely costly. She called me kanjoos and said “real sisters share.”
Last Sunday we had a family haldi function at home. I stepped out for 10 minutes to take a call. Came back and saw Neha had opened the sealed box, poured little haldi bowl on my lehenga, and was laughing with her mom saying “ab toh ise nayi leni padegi na” (now she’ll have to buy me a new one).
The lehenga is completely destroyed, yellow stains everywhere, zari ruined. My maasi (her mom) says it was “just haldi, nothing serious” and I should now pay for Neha’s lehenga because “shaadi ka kharcha hota hai” and “family helps family.”
I lost it. Told them I’m not giving even ₹100 and what she did was straight-up vandalism. Now the whole family is calling me, saying I’m breaking relations over “just cloth” and that I should “adjust” because Neha’s in-laws are demanding heavy shopping.
AITA for refusing to pay a single rupee and thinking of going low-contact until they replace my lehenga?
NTA. Not sure how a pair of grown women thought that destroying something of yours would make you buy one of them anything. By the way, low contact sounds like your life would be more peaceful, honestly, so I vote for that.
NTA. I would press charges for vandalism. You said no. They did it anyways. It doesn’t matter that it’s just a piece of clothing. But I will say try and salvage it and never speak to your cousin again.
Sorry… $2.8 lahk like $3000 USD?
NTA
Do not give her anything. She absolutely vandalized your sentimental property. I would absolutely go no contact over something like this. I am so sorry you have to experience this disrespect and vandalism of your items 🙁 I wouldn’t give a single rupee.
I’d gift her the ruined one and tell her congrats on ruining her own gift.
But I’m petty
Try to get it dry cleaned first, if it works keep it, if it doesnt gift it to her. Don’t risk gifting something that she can fix
NTA
And tell those family members you’re delighted they’ve volunteered to help pay for hers as well as the one she destroyed, since family helps family.
I hate that phrase.
NTA. I would be tempted to tell her future in-laws what kind of person your cousin is unless your cousin and aunt repay you.
NTA This isn’t about cloth. It’s about the way she and her mother intentionally disrespected you by damaging your property. GOOD people don’t behave like that.
For those of you who don’t know, the cousin spilled turmeric on a $3000 dress. NTA.
Thank you for this. I mean I knew she NTA without that but I was curious
Thank you for that.
Turmeric doesn’t come out of anything! It’s like mustard. (As I recall it’s expensive too.)
It’s a natural dye. There’s no possible way to get it out ever.
NTA. If family helps family, ask them how ruining your lehenga was helping you. When they can answer how they were being family and helpful with a reasonable answer (which they can’t) you will help them.
Excuses that feature them taking revenge for you not lending it to them in the first place and being helpful to family don’t count either. That’s revenge, not helping anyone.
I’m not married and if someone did that to a regular lehenga of mine, I would lose it.
For everyone reading, haldi = turmeric. That is near impossible to wash out if it’s a large stain. NTA.