AITA For refusing to pay for my family anymore

Burner because my family are tied to my main but gonna cut straight to it

I (23M) have been expected to be solely responsible for paying for everything in my family’s life for the past 5 years I have 5 siblings all older than me and two parents (separated but live together) and I am the only one who has a job not for health or age reasons they simply do not want to work.

I have voiced my annoyance of their lack of respect or responsibility for years now and asked that they start paying me back the money that have borrowed/money I have spent on them when I don’t live there anymore and haven’t for over 5 years they owe me a combined total of £17,000 and have just this week asked me for more money to pay off my (22yo) brother in laws car and I am putting my foot down and refusing to pay for them anymore but they are maintaining I am responsible for some if not all of the payments because they paid for me for the first 18 years of my life AITA

14 thoughts on “AITA For refusing to pay for my family anymore”
  1. NTA. Sounds like you live in the UK. Show them how to sign up for government assistance and move (far) away. 

  2. Just say no. You don’t owe them further explanation, and if they ostracize you when you refuse to support their laziness, you’ll see who they really are. Love should not be based on you being a doormat ATM for them.

    Sorry your family is taking advantage of you. Time to stop it. NTA.

  3. NTA. They “paid” for you for the first 18 years of your life, because they’re legally obliged to. I’d also wager, they were covering those costs with benefits, not a penny earned themselves, so it’s a redundant point regardless.

    Mate, you’ve got to stop engaging with it. When they ask, you simply say, I can’t, I don’t have any money sorry. No debates, no discussion. Just, I don’t have it and I can’t get it. Look after yourself and build something for your future. Reduce contact if you have to. Spend time with friends, anyone who appreciates your company, not what you can do to benefit them financially. The longer you let this go on the harder it will be to stop it. Start saying no now.

  4. Parents are literally required to pay for their children to survive. That is literally the minimum to not be jailed for neglect. They chose to have kids and all of them are choosing not to work. Block their numbers and let them figure out their own shit. Ridiculous

  5. Find yourself a nice flat in a good area and just move out.End this leach affair With these parasites NOW.You don’t owe them nothing,you have already paid them back over and over again.If possible find out if your employer if you can transfer to e new location .Move on and start your NEW life,.Live long and prosper.

  6. I was discussing this with my husband just this morning. Our children owe us nothing, we chose to bring them into this world.
    Likewise, you’re not financially responsible for people who are bodily able to earn their own life.
    Cut the apron’s cord.

  7. NTA. your parents chose to have you, and after this decision they were responsible for all of your expenses in the first 18 years of your life.

    You owe them nothing. cut contact if they keep bothering you.

  8. NTA. Your parents are whining because they had to do the legally obligated minimum of paying for your care before you were an adult.

    The hard truth: no one in this situation is going to change. You’re enabling them. They won’t even think about getting jobs as long as you’re in the picture.

    I don’t know what your housing situation is, but if you can, just move. Leave. Get your own place and your own life. Stay in contact or not — depends on how you feel about them.

  9. NTA. Your family sucks. No one expects a refund on the 18 years they financially supported the children they chose to have.

    Walk away. Let the leeches sort themselves out

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