This situation involves me, my twin brother, my older brother, and my friend (let’s call him Dave).
Dave bought discounted tickets to an amusement park from a colleague and invited the three of us to go with him. My older brother offered to drive and asked if we could split gas and parking costs. I agreed.
The day at the amusement park was great, no issues there.
On the way home, my older brother decided he wanted to stop at Burger King.
Important context: I currently have very little money. I’m a full-time student, taking an extra year to finish my studies due to personal reasons, and my student financing hasn’t come in yet. So I need to be really careful with my spending. Fast food just isn’t something I want to waste money on right now.
I’ve mentioned this to my brothers and Dave multiple times. They should know this.
I told them I didn’t want Burger King and preferred to eat something at home. When we parked, I asked if they could at least take their food to go so we could get home sooner. I wasn’t starving, but I was hungry and wanted to get home and make something cheap.
My older brother literally just said “No,” got out of the car, and walked inside. Dave and my twin just followed him. I was annoyed, so I stayed in the car.
They were gone for 30 minutes while I sat there waiting.
We dropped Dave off afterward and went home. I didn’t cause a scene, argue, or mention anything about not paying. I just quietly decided at that moment that I wasn’t going to pay anymore because I felt my brother showed me zero consideration.
A while later, my brother sent me a reminder message saying I still owed him for the gas and parking. That’s when I wrote back explaining why I’m not paying and that he’s not getting that money from me.
This caused tension, and my mom got involved, telling me:
“You wrote a disrespectful message and I don’t agree with how you’re acting.”
Now I’m wondering if I handled this correctly. What are you guys thoughts?
EDIT: Alright guys, I hear you all. I’m either the Ahole or everyone sucks. Which means I’m in the wrong for this one (as well). I’ll pay what the man is owned.
I think he could’ve been nicer and not just say no, but that’s a talk for another time. Thanks for letting me see that guys, peace.
He drove you to the park as agreed.
So now you have to hold up your side of the deal.
The fact he stopped for food, and you couldn’t buy any yourself, has got nothing to do with the deal.
YTA
YTA, your brother drove you there and back and you agreed to pay your share of the costs. It is not anyone else’s fault if you didn’t have enough money to pay for a meal. Pay up, you owe the money.
YTA. The driver decides on stops. If the driver doesn’t want to eat and drive at the same time, then you stop for a meal while they eat.
If you want things to run on your schedule, then you drive your car or arrange your own transportation. Not an option? Then you have the choice to not go if you don’t like being on someone else’s schedule. Paying for gas and parking doesn’t entitle you to run the show.
YTA. What does him stopping for food have to do with the original agreement?
He still used his car to drive everyone to and from the park. You still went to the park.
He didn’t make you wait in the car. YOU decided that. It is not his fault you don’t have money for fast food, and it is not his responsibility to cater to one of 4 people. You could have gone in and sat with them. Finished the day off on a good night with more conversation and fun and still gotten food when you got home. Instead you acted like a child having a temper tantrum. And got treated as such. Good on them.
But now your continuing your temper tantrum. How old are you?! You owe him the money for parking and gas. And an apology for being a brat.
YTA. He carries out his end of the bargain. Sorry but the “group” wanted to eat and didn’t want to drive while eating. You sat out in the car. Your choice. You’re acting like a child.
YTA. Stopping for food has nothing to do with going to the amusement park. Your brother still drove you there and paid for parking. Quit being a big baby and pay him. You didn’t have to sit in the car. Not to mention, 30 minutes is not that long.
YTA
He didn’t leave you in the car. You chose to stay in the cat. Stopping for food is normal and you could have gone in and not ordered anything.
YTA
If the driver wants a break they should be able to take one. Especially after a long busy day.
Waiting in the car sulking is a pretty childish way to behave and was a poor way to thank your friend for a nice day out.
Refusing to pay is not reasonable. The delay cost you nothing.
Broke and dumb, yikes. YTA
YTA. 3/4 of the people in the car wanted BK. You didn’t want to “waste the money” on it. That was your choice. That doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t get to eat what they want, in the manner they want. It’s not like this was a 5 course meal taking 2 hours or something. And it wouldn’t have killed you to drop $10 or less on something cheap.
Instead of sulking in the car you could also have gone in, just had a glass of water, and hung out. Instead you acted like a toddler and then refused to uphold your end of the deal. Grow up! Your brother probably won’t be inviting you out again.
YTA. Doesn’t matter if they stopped off for food, take a crap or have a cigarette. The part of the agreement was fulfilled by him as he drove u to the park n back. Pay for ur ride and dont be an asshole.
YTA. You committed to pay your part.
It was a dick move to leave you in the car, but sometimes that happens when you go out with a friend group. Disagreeing with the group doesn’t give you license to unilaterally violate your own word.
YTA. You got a fun day out which you agreed to make a minimal contribution to. Then you chose to sulk in the car for half an hour because you didn’t want to buy food. Looks to me like you were hoping for another freebie.
Next time they organise something you won’t be invited and don’t complain about it. You brought it on yourself with this behaviour.
YTA, the majority of the people wanted BK. That’s how it rolls when you carpool. If you want to be in charge of what happens, take your own vehicle. You agreed to help pay for gas and parking; you need to pay up. Next time, be prepared and take snacks with especially knowing you don’t want to eat out to save money. And you could have gone it and gotten one item off the dollar menu. Just to hold you over.