I (19F) am a college student, and I take my studies seriously. In one of my classes, there’s a girl (19F) who always sits near me but never really talks to me unless she needs something. At the start of the semester, I tried to be friendly, but she would mostly ignore me or give short replies, so I stopped trying.
Throughout the semester, I attended every lecture, made detailed notes, and even helped a few other classmates who were genuinely nice to me. This girl, however, would often skip classes or come late and never seemed interested in actually studying.
Now finals are coming up, and suddenly she started messaging me, asking for all my notes. At first, I thought she just needed help with one topic, but then she asked me to send *everything* because she “didn’t have time” to make her own notes. She also said I should help her because “we sit together.”
I felt uncomfortable because she never made an effort to be nice or even acknowledge me before. It felt like she only remembered me when she needed something. So I politely told her I couldn’t share all my notes, but I could explain some topics if she wanted.
She got annoyed and said I was being selfish and that it’s “not a big deal” to just send pictures. Some of my friends think I should have helped because it wouldn’t cost me anything, but others say she’s just using me.
Now I’m confused and kinda feeling guilty… AITA?
NTA. My first day of undergrad, some guy asked to borrow my notes from the lecture. I said sure and sent them over. He then asked if I could send him all my notes going forward, and he’d “hit me up with lunch sometime, cheers”.
I told him it was $100 per lecture. He suddenly stopped replying.
Don’t let this girl take advantage of you.
Yeah, you’re right. When something is free, everyone wants it, but the moment money is involved, people disappear. I think I was being too nice and didn’t set proper boundaries, so she took advantage of that. I’ve learned my lesson now and won’t let it happen again
You didn’t send all your notes, though. Sounds like you set the boundary just fine.
Yes, setting that boundary felt important. I can still help explain things without just handing over everything
You also don’t need to spend your time tutoring her. This doesnt need to be a compromise.
NTA. Time she learns an important life lesson. If you don’t have time to be friendly classmate, don’t expect others to go out of their way to help you. This is probably how she got through high school, manipulating others to do the work for her. You’re the one who put in the work. It might be fun to ask her why she didn’t take notes for herself.
NTA. Her laziness is not your problem. Good luck with your finals.
NTA.
She ignores you all semester and expects you to bail her out when she didn’t take class seriously? Don’t do it OP, if you do she will take advantage of you
Yes, I agree. She needs to take responsibility for her own studies, and I can’t do all the work for her
NTA and not your problem she was lazy and not doing the bare minimum.
Let the girl know that some of your friends would be glad to help her out….give her THEIR contact info, since it won’t cost THEM anything.
EASY PEASY DANNY DEASY!
Sell them to her, I made some decent money for mine.
NTA…..and for $250 and she has a deal!
I hate the misconception that time and effort costs us nothing. It absolutely does! It costs us time and effort! NTA. Part of growing up and learning to be an adult is taking responsibility for your own mistakes, particularly in an educational setting. This is a valuable lesson for her to learn.